Fear creates a form of spiritual amnesia. It dulls our miracle memory. It makes us forget what Jesus has done and how good God is. (I forget where I obtained this quote.)
18There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4
An excellent reminder for an ongoing struggle. It's amazing how sometimes we do not even recognize fears that are controlling us! We may even use language like "concerned" or "worried." Along these lines, I have also been thinking of Ephesians 6 and the injunction to "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil" with a focus of "take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the fiery darts of the evil one." Yeah, I've felt some fiery darts. Stand strong, friends!
September 29, 2010
September 27, 2010
There but for the grace of God, go I.
We have got a lot of strong women at our church. They bear a lot of things. They endure pain through marriages and through kids that are disabled…Strong women are magnificent testimonies to Christ because, if they are complementarian, they are combining things the world can’t explain. They are combining a sweet, tender, kind, loving, submissive, feminine beauty with this massive steel in their backs and theology in their brains. ~ John Piper
Gotta love Piper! I think often of gender roles. For example, when given the opportunity to live full life spans, why do women outlive men? Why does it seem that men are more prone to violence and sex crimes? Is it because they are in power? Are women more prone to manipulation? Is that because they are not in power? Or is this state of affairs because men abuse the authority and strength that God has given them? And perhaps women are lusting for power that is not theirs (i.e. manipulation). Why aren't there more female pedophiles? Female gang members? I know that people pervert God's gifts, so I am trying to look at this through a Biblical rather than sociological perspective. For example, women's beauty is intended to allure and invite, and men's strength is meant to pursue and uphold--both in a relational context. Instead, women use their beauty to seduce, and men use their strength to subdue women--both devoid of relationship.
Crimes against humanity and against the individual sicken and horrify me, as they should. We live in an evil world. Just reading one section of the newspaper this morning left me drained, realizing our desperate need for God (articles about a foster care pedophile, rapists and murders, murderous drug cartels, and nuclear weapons build-up). Lately, I have begun thinking more often of occasions when perpetrators are also victims. In the Congo, the government's army (which used to be the "good guys") has begun to perpetrate the same horrific crimes against civilians as the resistance army. They kill men and brutally rape women of all ages. The Congo has been called the worst place in the world to be a woman. Yet, many of the soldiers live desperate lives. Here is a brief story about a young man in the Congo who was forced to be child solider at age 11. He has been in the army for ten years and is still younger than me! The author of the blog post is a young American woman about my age who works with rape victims. She writes of how she wants to hate this young man and others like him for their horrible crimes, but has come to realize that they are victims as well. Obviously, there is a vast difference between this young child who was literally tortured into becoming a soldier and the foster care parent who has been systematically molesting children for two decades. Yes, there is a level of personal responsibility involved in both cases, but we can see the difference without pulling theology or philosophy.
Last night, God reminded me of the story of Saul turned to Paul. Paul is my favorite author in the Bible. His incredible insights, ability with words, and deep love for people moves me. Yet, he was a murderer. He was so blinded by religiosity that he sought out Christians to kill them. It was interesting to me to realize last night that Paul does not write too much about his past. He concentrates on the present and the future, on God's redemption for all of mankind. However, he writes sentences such as: "The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost." 1 Timothy 1:15. People, we should not take this lightly! This is a man talking from deep personal experience about the complete depravity of man without God! I know that we all know "nice" people without God (and you may be one of my many lovely friends who thinks I'm a nut), but I often remind myself: there but for the grace of God go I. I shudder to think what I am capable of in different circumstances.
This blog has been on the heavy side of late, much more on the "musing" end of things. These are topics on which I have cogitated for several years and more so for the last year. Perhaps one reason why I am not yet working in my desired field is that I need to process through some of these things before I can spend even more hours a day trying to help the most desperate people in the world. I need to get my perspectives straight.
Thanks for "listening"! Hope you found something useful.
Gotta love Piper! I think often of gender roles. For example, when given the opportunity to live full life spans, why do women outlive men? Why does it seem that men are more prone to violence and sex crimes? Is it because they are in power? Are women more prone to manipulation? Is that because they are not in power? Or is this state of affairs because men abuse the authority and strength that God has given them? And perhaps women are lusting for power that is not theirs (i.e. manipulation). Why aren't there more female pedophiles? Female gang members? I know that people pervert God's gifts, so I am trying to look at this through a Biblical rather than sociological perspective. For example, women's beauty is intended to allure and invite, and men's strength is meant to pursue and uphold--both in a relational context. Instead, women use their beauty to seduce, and men use their strength to subdue women--both devoid of relationship.
Crimes against humanity and against the individual sicken and horrify me, as they should. We live in an evil world. Just reading one section of the newspaper this morning left me drained, realizing our desperate need for God (articles about a foster care pedophile, rapists and murders, murderous drug cartels, and nuclear weapons build-up). Lately, I have begun thinking more often of occasions when perpetrators are also victims. In the Congo, the government's army (which used to be the "good guys") has begun to perpetrate the same horrific crimes against civilians as the resistance army. They kill men and brutally rape women of all ages. The Congo has been called the worst place in the world to be a woman. Yet, many of the soldiers live desperate lives. Here is a brief story about a young man in the Congo who was forced to be child solider at age 11. He has been in the army for ten years and is still younger than me! The author of the blog post is a young American woman about my age who works with rape victims. She writes of how she wants to hate this young man and others like him for their horrible crimes, but has come to realize that they are victims as well. Obviously, there is a vast difference between this young child who was literally tortured into becoming a soldier and the foster care parent who has been systematically molesting children for two decades. Yes, there is a level of personal responsibility involved in both cases, but we can see the difference without pulling theology or philosophy.
Last night, God reminded me of the story of Saul turned to Paul. Paul is my favorite author in the Bible. His incredible insights, ability with words, and deep love for people moves me. Yet, he was a murderer. He was so blinded by religiosity that he sought out Christians to kill them. It was interesting to me to realize last night that Paul does not write too much about his past. He concentrates on the present and the future, on God's redemption for all of mankind. However, he writes sentences such as: "The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost." 1 Timothy 1:15. People, we should not take this lightly! This is a man talking from deep personal experience about the complete depravity of man without God! I know that we all know "nice" people without God (and you may be one of my many lovely friends who thinks I'm a nut), but I often remind myself: there but for the grace of God go I. I shudder to think what I am capable of in different circumstances.
This blog has been on the heavy side of late, much more on the "musing" end of things. These are topics on which I have cogitated for several years and more so for the last year. Perhaps one reason why I am not yet working in my desired field is that I need to process through some of these things before I can spend even more hours a day trying to help the most desperate people in the world. I need to get my perspectives straight.
Thanks for "listening"! Hope you found something useful.
UN Visual
Evidently only 8% of Americans have heard of the MDG's. Better get a move on--only 5 more years to end world poverty and hunger! To be fair, I really liked the point made by the authors of Half the Sky. They mentioned that the UN programs might do more for the copy paper industry than for the underprivileged. However, in a world fraught with need, their programs are still indispensable. I must keep this in mind when I criticize the UN's aid policies and efficiency.
September 23, 2010
Maybe I push when I'm meant to be still.
Isn't it wonderful how God is so faithful in the details? Thanks to my friend Aimee's recommendation, this week I began part-time data entry of medical surveys. Though I anticipated the hours to be mind-numbingly tedious, they have actually proved a welcome respite for my currently over-active brain. As you know (from reading this blog, of course), lately I have been pondering many different aspects of suffering. Today I realized that reading these surveys about patients' experience with their medical specialists continues this theme but is much milder than reading about human rights violations. Also, I borrowed Pop's neolithic iPod (the Sylvania SMP2012 2GB), but even though I put several songs on it, only one would play. The first two lines of that song, which I listened to about 12 times, are: "Maybe I push when I'm meant to be still; maybe I take it all too personal. Jesus, how to reconcile?" Ah, that was convicting! I spent a year doing that and must constantly remind myself not to do so in this season. Not very subtle, God! He was saying, don't forget! Don't go back to that! You're right where I want you! Stay the course. Be still. (I'm good at pushing, not so much being still.)
They're beautifully counter-intuitive blessings, these moments in life when you realize that God has you right where He wants you, in the perfect place at the perfect time, and it's not what you would have imagined at all. Two months ago, I would have shuddered at the thought of entering medical surveys in Fillmore for three hours while contemplating suffering and listening to a Newsboy's song on repeat. Today, it was God's way of taking care of me. I'm glad He's in charge.
They're beautifully counter-intuitive blessings, these moments in life when you realize that God has you right where He wants you, in the perfect place at the perfect time, and it's not what you would have imagined at all. Two months ago, I would have shuddered at the thought of entering medical surveys in Fillmore for three hours while contemplating suffering and listening to a Newsboy's song on repeat. Today, it was God's way of taking care of me. I'm glad He's in charge.
September 21, 2010
In His Arms
God, do you hear? God, do you see? God, do you care?
There are so many people asking these questions worldwide. I ask them myself. What is it in us that has the audacity to reach out to the divine? Lately I have been blessed by friends who do not expect me to be cheerful or feel a certain way. They encourage me, reminding me of truth, but let me process this season. This is a reflection of a larger experience I am having with God, coming before Him time and again, embarrassed that I am not "fixed," apologetic for my continuing struggles. He is so gentle; this melts my heart. I realize anew (and more deeply) that He does not expect me to have it all together. He knows I fall flat without Him. He knows I can only get so far. He knows how I will react to every situation. He has so much compassion for me.
I do not mean to imply that God does not have the ultimate standard of purity and righteousness. What I am trying to say, is that (unlike me) He does not expect me to achieve any more than He gives me the resources to do so. For example, I generally think I should be able to control my emotions. Hah! So time and time again, when I come to God with my emotions all over the place, whirling around from my attempts to corral them, He is gentle because He does not expect me to possess the necessary supernatural ability to discipline them without His help. Maybe another way to explain this is through the verse: I can do all things through Christ who strengths me (Philippians 4:13). Believing the promise of this verse, I beat myself up because I cannot do all things, forgetting the second half. Yes, with God's help, it is possible to be in emotional control, but perhaps He wants me to go through a season of emotional turmoil. With God's help, it is possible to instantly land a job, but perhaps He wants me to wait. It is possible to say the right thing at the right time, but maybe He wants me to listen. Make sense? This is probably somewhat disjointed, but the bottom line is that I need to hold myself to God's standard, not my version of God's standard. His grace is sufficient for me, and I have been blessed by His tenderness and acceptance not of my sin but in spite of my sin. In this season, He is welcoming my frailty. It is incredibly humbling.
There are so many people asking these questions worldwide. I ask them myself. What is it in us that has the audacity to reach out to the divine? Lately I have been blessed by friends who do not expect me to be cheerful or feel a certain way. They encourage me, reminding me of truth, but let me process this season. This is a reflection of a larger experience I am having with God, coming before Him time and again, embarrassed that I am not "fixed," apologetic for my continuing struggles. He is so gentle; this melts my heart. I realize anew (and more deeply) that He does not expect me to have it all together. He knows I fall flat without Him. He knows I can only get so far. He knows how I will react to every situation. He has so much compassion for me.
I do not mean to imply that God does not have the ultimate standard of purity and righteousness. What I am trying to say, is that (unlike me) He does not expect me to achieve any more than He gives me the resources to do so. For example, I generally think I should be able to control my emotions. Hah! So time and time again, when I come to God with my emotions all over the place, whirling around from my attempts to corral them, He is gentle because He does not expect me to possess the necessary supernatural ability to discipline them without His help. Maybe another way to explain this is through the verse: I can do all things through Christ who strengths me (Philippians 4:13). Believing the promise of this verse, I beat myself up because I cannot do all things, forgetting the second half. Yes, with God's help, it is possible to be in emotional control, but perhaps He wants me to go through a season of emotional turmoil. With God's help, it is possible to instantly land a job, but perhaps He wants me to wait. It is possible to say the right thing at the right time, but maybe He wants me to listen. Make sense? This is probably somewhat disjointed, but the bottom line is that I need to hold myself to God's standard, not my version of God's standard. His grace is sufficient for me, and I have been blessed by His tenderness and acceptance not of my sin but in spite of my sin. In this season, He is welcoming my frailty. It is incredibly humbling.
September 19, 2010
Today's Decision
Psalm 42
To the Chief Musician. A Contemplationa]">[a] of the sons of Korah.
1 As the deer pants for the water brooks,So pants my soul for You, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God?b]">[b]
3 My tears have been my food day and night,
While they continually say to me,
“Where is your God?”
4 When I remember these things,
I pour out my soul within me.
For I used to go with the multitude;
I went with them to the house of God,
With the voice of joy and praise,
With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast.
5 Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
For the help of His countenance.c]">[c]
6 O my God,d]">[d] my soul is cast down within me;
Therefore I will remember You from the land of the Jordan,
And from the heights of Hermon,
From the Hill Mizar.
7 Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls;
All Your waves and billows have gone over me.
8 The LORD will command His lovingkindness in the daytime,
And in the night His song shall be with me—
A prayer to the God of my life.
9 I will say to God my Rock,
“Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”
10 As with a breaking of my bones,
My enemies reproach me,
While they say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”
11 Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.
Today's Encouragement
"Believing is a simple thing. It's a hard thing for us to get there, but it's really a simple thing. It's telling your heart 'yes' and believing it." Pastor Alan Walker
"You have to guard faith. You have to guard hope. You have to guard belief. Because the enemy is always there always to discourage, and he wants to rob, steal, and destroy. That's his job. But it takes work sometimes. ... We're a work in process, and we can't let down our guard. And we give the enemy an inch, and he takes a mile. And before you know it, you're overcome instead of overcoming evil with good." Kathy Walker
Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.
Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God. * Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear. * For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.
Jacob said to his household, ... "Let us arise and go up to Bethel; and I will make an altar there to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and has been with me in the way which I have gone." * Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.
I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live. The pains of death surrounded me, and the pangs of Sheol laid hold of me; I found trouble and sorrow. Then I called upon the name of the Lord.
Ps. 50:15; Ps. 42:11; Ps. 10:17; Ps. 86:5; Gen. 35:2-3; Ps. 103:2; Ps. 116:1-4
"You have to guard faith. You have to guard hope. You have to guard belief. Because the enemy is always there always to discourage, and he wants to rob, steal, and destroy. That's his job. But it takes work sometimes. ... We're a work in process, and we can't let down our guard. And we give the enemy an inch, and he takes a mile. And before you know it, you're overcome instead of overcoming evil with good." Kathy Walker
Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me.
Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God. * Lord, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear. * For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.
Jacob said to his household, ... "Let us arise and go up to Bethel; and I will make an altar there to God, who answered me in the day of my distress and has been with me in the way which I have gone." * Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.
I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live. The pains of death surrounded me, and the pangs of Sheol laid hold of me; I found trouble and sorrow. Then I called upon the name of the Lord.
Ps. 50:15; Ps. 42:11; Ps. 10:17; Ps. 86:5; Gen. 35:2-3; Ps. 103:2; Ps. 116:1-4
September 16, 2010
Props
So all my friends who like Will Smith? I've now joined your ranks, but not because he's a good actor. (And definitely not because of his personal style. What's with the studs and the shirt? Reliving the past?) Check it out: http://www.charitywater.org/willandjada/. I "donated" my birthday last year. Great cause!
September 15, 2010
Friends!
Granted, I haven't written much of shenanigans and exploits of late; this has been much more of a musing season. Still, in the month and a half I have been unemployed, I have managed to spend time with the following friends (in no particular order):
Lindsay Gleason
Drew and Carlene Miller
Richard Morrison and Katie Riemann
Stephanie and David Misson (tied the knot!)
Molly Clarke
Erin Ferrier
Lindsay DeKlotz
Jane David
Mary Embree
Kate English
Steven Wolf
Brian and Karelisa King
Aimee McKeown
Anh Thu Cao
Deanna Marquez
Pam Gartner
My grandparents
My immediate family
Fawn and Joey Parish (for their film screening)
Meza Family
Cheryl Pittluck
Nicholas Hill
Perhaps that falls under traipsing? Driving about visiting friends? For exploits, I will share that my team won at pub quiz last night! First time ever. It was a narrow victory, but sweet nonetheless. I am recruiting people to the event.
Lindsay Gleason
Drew and Carlene Miller
Richard Morrison and Katie Riemann
Stephanie and David Misson (tied the knot!)
Molly Clarke
Erin Ferrier
Lindsay DeKlotz
Jane David
Mary Embree
Kate English
Steven Wolf
Brian and Karelisa King
Aimee McKeown
Anh Thu Cao
Deanna Marquez
Pam Gartner
My grandparents
My immediate family
Fawn and Joey Parish (for their film screening)
Meza Family
Cheryl Pittluck
Nicholas Hill
Perhaps that falls under traipsing? Driving about visiting friends? For exploits, I will share that my team won at pub quiz last night! First time ever. It was a narrow victory, but sweet nonetheless. I am recruiting people to the event.
September 14, 2010
Today's Encouragement
Back to Back:
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.
Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies? * I said in my haste, "I am cut off from before Your eyes"; nevertheless You heard the voice of my supplications when I cried out to You.
Shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. * Wait for the Lord, and He will save you. * Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.
Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. * See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain.
Lam. 3:26; Ps. 77:9; Ps. 31:22; Luke 18:7-8; Prov. 20-22; Ps. 37:7; 2 Chron. 20:17; Gal. 6:9; James 5:7
Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes.
Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. * [Look] carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled. * You ran well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?
He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ. * The tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. No man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. * Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt.
Song of Sol. 2:15; Ps. 19:12; Heb. 12:15; Gal. 5:7; Phil. 1:6, 27; James 3:5-6, 8; Col. 4:6
It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.
Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies? * I said in my haste, "I am cut off from before Your eyes"; nevertheless You heard the voice of my supplications when I cried out to You.
Shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. * Wait for the Lord, and He will save you. * Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass.
You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.
Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. * See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, waiting patiently for it until it receives the early and latter rain.
Lam. 3:26; Ps. 77:9; Ps. 31:22; Luke 18:7-8; Prov. 20-22; Ps. 37:7; 2 Chron. 20:17; Gal. 6:9; James 5:7
Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes.
Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. * [Look] carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled. * You ran well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?
He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. Only let your conduct be worthy of the gospel of Christ. * The tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. No man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. * Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt.
Song of Sol. 2:15; Ps. 19:12; Heb. 12:15; Gal. 5:7; Phil. 1:6, 27; James 3:5-6, 8; Col. 4:6
September 11, 2010
I am thankful for...
completely paying off my government loans two weeks ago.
my car.
being able to meet up with Ventura County friends.
my room-personal space.
turkey hot dogs.
Cambria.
free time.
warmth.
grace.
Goodwill opening in Fillmore.
Trader Joe's.
Bob Pierce and Franklin Graham.
elephants.
sleep.
the beginning of my favorite season.
my parents.
my car.
being able to meet up with Ventura County friends.
my room-personal space.
turkey hot dogs.
Cambria.
free time.
warmth.
grace.
Goodwill opening in Fillmore.
Trader Joe's.
Bob Pierce and Franklin Graham.
elephants.
sleep.
the beginning of my favorite season.
my parents.
September 8, 2010
Evil in the Congo
The violence in the Congo, particularly the brutal rapes of girls and women of all ages, has been haunting me for weeks. Today I read an article from the BBC that implied it's only getting worse. The most devastating part of the article was at the end:
The latest mass rapes - during July and August - were first reported by the International Medical Corps, which treated many of the victims.
Mr Ban sent his envoys to the country to learn why UN peacekeepers had apparently been unaware of the attacks.
DR Congo has a shocking reputation for sexual violence, and rape is commonly used as a weapon of war.
The UN says at least 8,300 rapes were reported in 2009 and it is believed that many more attacks go unreported.
I am going to make a commitment to pray for the Congo every day. Generally, I am an action person, but I forget that fervent prayer (not just the half-hearted promise of prayer) IS an action. It's a crucial action! Being unemployed leaves me with little financial resources, but my heart just breaks for these women. By the way, many men are killed or beaten (and unable to protect their wives). It's not just the women who suffer, but there are many new widows and rape survivors stigmatized by their husbands and communities. The repercussions are overwhelming.
Crises like these do test my faith. You might ask, how can you love a God who allows atrocities of this level? An indirect answer to that is because He is big enough yet intimate enough to care. I truly do believe He cares. I believe that His heart breaks much worse than I do. When I read the Bible, I see over and over the charge to care for the vulnerable. People who take advantage of the vulnerable are warned of destruction. Sometimes I think God tarries partially for the perpetrators' sakes. I actually believe that man is naturally selfish at heart, but oftentimes I still cannot fathom how people can be so cruel to each other. I find myself wondering how these armies can terrorize civilians, particularly women and children, and I mean truly wondering. What is it in their circumstances and hearts that compels them to ignore the voice of God and exult in their truly evil desires? Or maybe they are just going along with the crowd? I can only think about these subjects for so long because it really does tear me apart.
Today was a good day, by the way. I spoke about communication at a Christian sober living home whose residents are going through Pop's curriculum. Afterward, Emily and I went to Trader Joe's, and I made stuffed bell peppers for dinner (from my Trader Joe's cook book). Then my team came in third out of six at pub quiz, so we are improving.
September 2, 2010
Losing Control
Last month I was listening to Audio Adrenaline and finally really listened to the last song on the album "Until My Heart Caves In". Previously, I had only marked this song two stars because the vocals are rather annoying, but I gained an appreciation for the lyrics. The older I get, the more I realize the importance of perspective, and I am trying to remember to pray for God's perspective. I think these lyrics are an excellent example of that. They are also an excellent example that I really am not in control and need to let go of that illusion. I'm not sure how to add audio files to this blog, and the only video I could find has incredibly muted volume. Sorry!
"Losing Control"
This is what it feels like
To lose control
This is what it feels like
To be left alone
This is what it feels like
To lose a friend
This is what it feels like
To reach the end
God came down
And walked beside me
God came down
He sent friends to guide me
God came down to remind me
This is what it feels like
To be loved
This is what it feels like
To face the truth
This is what it feels like
To know it's through
This is what it feels like
To say goodbye
This is what it feels like
For a man to cry
God came down
And walked beside me
God came down
He sent friends to guide me
God came down to remind me
This is what it feels like
To be loved
This is what it feels like
This is what it feels like
This is what it feels like
"Losing Control"
This is what it feels like
To lose control
This is what it feels like
To be left alone
This is what it feels like
To lose a friend
This is what it feels like
To reach the end
God came down
And walked beside me
God came down
He sent friends to guide me
God came down to remind me
This is what it feels like
To be loved
This is what it feels like
To face the truth
This is what it feels like
To know it's through
This is what it feels like
To say goodbye
This is what it feels like
For a man to cry
God came down
And walked beside me
God came down
He sent friends to guide me
God came down to remind me
This is what it feels like
To be loved
This is what it feels like
This is what it feels like
This is what it feels like
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