New Year's Eve 2008

Last year was one of my favorite New Year's Eves. Amanda, Donovan, and I went up to Turtle Rock and chomped on See's chocolates minus wine since I forgot the bottle opener. Shortly before midnight we went to the Rock Harbor shindig, which was mainly an opportunity to don cardboard hats. Afterward Tom joined the three of us at Donovan's apartment for some conversation. (Picture courtesy of Larry)

Highlights of Christmas break thus far

~Christmas service at the convalescent home. The residents' unwavering pleasure of our visits is continually humbling. The sibs and I were blessed to be joined by Nick and Donovan for more of a choir effect.

~Singing for Grandpa on Christmas. Likewise, it is humbling to know that our simple singing for Grandpa (mom's father) holds more value for him than any tangible item. This was especially meaningful for me as we do not know how many more Christmases he will enjoy in his home, much less relatively cognizant.

~Receiving a vacuum cleaner. My quality of life just shot up a few notches!

~Cards from far-away friends. Stamps are a sound investment.

~Articulating that I am materially low-maintenance but relationally high maintenance.

~Hanging out with Hum. Settlers of Catan-Katie 4:0. Boggle-Jeremy 3:0. "It boggles the mind."

~Picnicking up Goodenough Road with Donovan. One of the things I enjoy about Fillmore (and the Central Coast) is its proximity to relatively remote hills.

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! 2 Corinthians 9:15

"I just have one more question..."

Tonight I must chose between blogging and watching an episode of Columbo, and I'm afraid (sorry if I've mislead you) that Columbo has won.

Perhaps the blog shall win out over my two and a half week Christmas break (the benefits of being at a school site).

Orange soda dissolves corrosion on alternator connections.

Anatevka continues to live up to her name with further travails. Tonight the tow truck driver proved once again the value of AAA by discovering in ten minutes the problem that the mechanic could not uncover after three chances at diagnosis. Should be a quick fix. Praise Jesus for always getting me off or keeping me off the freeway when my cars die (sometimes as my cars are dying). There have been two other reoccurring trials of late--lots of character building.

This weekend I enjoyed visiting Richie, Katie, Dani, and Tim in Valencia for a rousing two rounds of Imagine If prefaced by tacos. That was followed by a visit to Camarillo for Joey's birthday (always a treat to see the Parishes), two church services on Sunday, and the delight of Kate descending with two kittens.

Sunday morning I spoke on prayer, revolving around Luke 18:1 -- "Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart." This verse is followed by the parable of the persistent widow and the corrupt judge, who even though he did not fear God nor regard man, gave into the widow's cries for justice because of her squeaky wheel act. Jesus goes on to say how much more our loving heavenly Father will answer our prayers. The second main thrust of the teaching is that the humility is the heart of prayer; when our will is submitted to God's, He gives us the desires of our hearts because they are His desires. Even though He knows what we need before we need it, God has created prayer as an integral part of our humble trust relationship with Him. Specifically, He has told us to pray for leaders, our enemies, healing, laborers for the Harvest, and things about which we are anxious. These are some highlighted prayer topics; we are to constantly be in communication with the Lord. I used to view this as a weight, but I am coming to understand that when I die to myself more, it will be an incredible freedom. For instance, this evening as the power in my car was quickly fading, I could feel the stress level rise at an interminable red light, the last barrier between me and the relative safety of a parking lot. As I sat there tensely, I realized I didn't have to be mentally stressed or physically pained. God is taking care of me. If I make it to the parking lot, I make it to the parking lot. If not, I'll be okay. I can't imagine how, but I will.

Well, I have sidetracked somewhat from my points on prayer; the teaching was more coherent. Do not grow weary in well doing. Be willing to pray large and long-reaching prayers. If you are a believer, Jesus prayed for you! Go read John 17. It will blow your mind.

Currently, I am seated indian-style against the back wall of the library immediately adjacent to the park. A hundred people are beginning to disperse from their soccer game a few yards down, and this spider seems curiously attracted to the light. Free internet is a wondrous benefit of libraries, though I have received a few weird looks (and am currently being interrupted by a man querying whether I can still access the wi-fi with the Spanish accent on the fi). Time to toddle home and pack for my inservice training in Los Angeles. We're semi-stranded at the Westin near LAX until Thursday afternoon. I say "semi" because of traffic and Anatevka's dubious capabilities. Richie reminds me of how ecstatic I will be when I have a car that is not nearing the end of its days. Perhaps journeys will be devoid of suspense. Adieu.

This weekend

"Twelve Angry Jurors" at Vanguard theater with Donovan
Health fair for work in the chilly elementary school halls
Katie time reading card game rules and munching little smokies in crescent rolls in my still, clean (and still clean) apartment
Beach bonfire
John creaming us at Oh Heck (Oh Hell, Up and Down the River, There and Back Again, Screw Your Neighbor, One to Seven, Pick Your Poison) because he plays penuckle (??)
Reminder of the Holy Spirit's active role in our lives--guiding us to "all truth" (John 16)
OCMA free day
Nap?

It's a winding road...

For LOTR and Star Wars nerds. Enjoy.

Response to "What is Fair Trade?"

Yes, one of the values of fair trade is that products that are traded are made by free people. Essentially, Fair Trade is a social justice movement that seeks to ensure that laborers and people associated in the chain of production are treated equitably. Three of the primary standards are good working conditions with fair wages, no slaves, and no child labor. There is more here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fair_trade. Many fair trade advocates are also involved in anti-trafficking efforts and in environmentally sustainable (green) products.

For the past couple of weeks I have been more focused on doing rather than being. I have realized that I have more control issues than I thought which is tied into my perfectionist tendencies. As my lovely friend Jennifer once said, "I only stress about things that I can control; obviously, I have control issues." Tied into this is realizing how much I need to turn over to the Lord. Though I have trusted Him, there are still so many layers. I do not think that He would want me to deprecate our relationship but rather give glory to all the things He has accomplished when I relinquish my desires. Still, again, I have so much further to go.

Though I am at a good place in life, I do find myself missing other chapters--London, Cal Poly. The presence of new friends does not mean you forget the old ones or wish they were with you. Place is such an interesting concept to me. People can gather, but you can only be in one place at a time. Today I went to this year's warehouse for Operation Christmas Child. They rented a much larger facility for a cheaper price. It was a completely new environment yet stirringly familiar.

If you want to buy some African bead necklaces, I have a new batch I'm selling for a different organization. Christmas approaches! We are having a fair trade gift fair (initiated by yours truly) for our November AmeriCorps meeting, and I plan to send out an email about fair trade gifts around that time.

Weekend Highlights

Friday:
--> Having my fellow VISTAs in the November group agree to my idea of a Fair Trade gift fair highlighting social justice and international development for our November meeting
--> Stress cleaning my apartment (not the stress part, but productively eliminating it plus the clean sinks)
--> Letting things go and being with Donovan

Saturday:
--> Watching the air become clearer and the hills greener (Don't ask why, it just happened.) as I drove from Anaheim to the Santa Clara Valley
--> Procuring a pine-green and autumn leaf-yellow squash shaped like a pear from the Faulkner Farm pumpkin patch
--> Opening my splurge purchase of two Michael Buble CDs from Amazon ("Crazy Love" and "Michael Buble")

Sunday:
--> Rifling through the kitchen at church and snagging some odds and ends that were gathering dust for my apartment
--> Being humbled once again by the thanks of the residents of the convalescent home for the simple hour-long church service of song, scripture, and prayer
--> Playing Settlers of Catan with Beth and Jeremy--Jeremy creamed me yesterday, but today victory was mine. I'm gravitating towards the port strategy.
--> Partially cleaning out my to-do bag. Such a good feeling!

Smiles.

Free stuff, friends, fighting

This has been a lovely weekend. After attending a Toys for Tots meeting for work, I headed off to Costa Mesa with my friend Anh Thu for a Patti Lupone concert at Segestrom Concert Hall. The show was excellent (what a performer!), particularly viewed from the third row in an exquisite setting. The experience was taken to the next level of surrealism by the fact that it was ... FREE! Evidently in honor of arts month there are many free performances in select urban areas across the country. I stumbled across the tickets when checking out www.sparkoc.com for weekend cultural opportunities. Also, the first third of the evening was unexpectedly an Audrey Hepburn tribute for which the orchestra played songs from her movies, including "Charade," "Moon River," the theme from "Roman Holiday" and the suite from "War and Peace." I think God sometimes gives us "present" experiences.

Friday night was John's birthday party, and though I was semi-somnolent during much of the evening, it was still good to gather with friends. Plus, he let me make oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

Saturday after a few errands and catching up on sleep, I trickled down to Long Beach to visit Pam's commune, reminiscent of the Wesley House. We had a lovely time chatting over pasta and then I was able to catch her show at a Long Beach coffee house hot spot.

This morning was my second visit to my new church, another small and personable Foursquare Church in Costa Mesa. Donovan and one of his friends from class (originally hailing from Japan) came as well. The pastor spoke on living in victory, being fighters and taking authority. It reminded me of the verse that says the kingdom of God is violent and the violent take it by force. That is one of those verses that the church doesn't like to teach because it has so often been abused and we aren't quite sure how to handle it. Violence isn't always negative. Birth, for example, seems quite a violent episode to me. Defending the innocent and the oppressed is generally violent business as well. It has long been a disappointment of mine that the church has not called its people, especially its men, to fight. There are so many admirable and right opportunities--so much necessity--to do so.

Fight, people!

Wistful Winds

My spirit is more at peace in autumn, though the wind and perfect temperatures also elicit the wistfulness to travel. Sometimes I contemplate the degree to which the external affects my moods and thoughts. Donovan has pointed out how much I enjoy and perhaps need to be comfortable. It's true that I've definitely been spoiled and I'm rather a wimp with pain. Through conversations with friends this weekend, I was exploring why I physically feel better when in San Luis Obispo County or Ventura County as opposed to Orange County. First, I generally prefer the two former, which puts my mind at ease, translating to a physical ease. Second, there is much less stress from traffic. As soon as I get off the 5 and/or the 405, my body is less tense. Third, the air quality is better out of the more populated areas. Fourth, there is more nature visable and accessible in the more rural areas. Some people might say that this is only a psychological effect, and perhaps that is true. Whether there is an inherent biological component to feeling healthier in the prescence of nature or whether it is at first a psychological effect that transfer into a biological reaction is, I feel, in the end a moot point. Wherever I am, I am grateful for Autumn.

Thank you to everyone who remembered me on my birthday. I enjoyed lunch with my grandparents, father, and brother on Friday, followed by a visit from Drew and Carlene for a staycation in Fillmore. Sunday night I was blessed to have various friends descend for a helping of chocolate silk pie and a rousing round of Taboo. I also treasure the many good wishes sent from afar. Thanks!

Highlights of September 19

Today:
A long shower
Partaking of my neighbor's market survey for green t-shirts
Steak and shrimp stir fry for lunch
Two episodes of Miles of Style with Carlene
Boggle to come

A good day :)

Living and Giving

Posts have been slow in coming as I have yet to purchase internet access for my new apartment and work blocks blogs. Lacking ready internet access has been a bit of a bother on a few counts but also an excellent discipline. Though I miss being able to send random and/or rambling emails, I find I have quite a bit more personal time. Work remains slow but should be picking up soon as school starts on Tuesday. I am mostly doing indirect social work for families living in motels in Anaheim. The perks of living in this location are ready access to excellent Thai food, proximity to my southern group of friends, and the availability of virtually any chain store should the need arise for a particular item. This is still not my favorite location, but once I am not engaged every evening, I plan to explore more and make the most of being here. Anatevka is still racking up the miles even though I no longer have a commute to work, merely a six minute drive instead. (Yes, that is a big "Yay!)

I know this communication is rather disjointed; it has been a lazy, heat-saturated day at home in Fillmore. My greatest accomplishments thus far have been completing three loads on laundry, getting my inbox down to the requiste amount, and bonding with my cat while reading a Dorothy Sayers mystery and Reading Lolita in Tehran.

On the off chance that any of you were planning to pass along a gift in celebration of my birth (notice how diplomatically I strive to avoid presumption), I am asking people to rather donate to Charity:Water, one of my favorite charities. You can learn more on this page: http://www.charitywater.org/birthdays/fundraiser/sept/view/2423. I appreciate their dedication and innovation in bringing clean water to hundreds of thousands of impoverished people worldwide since their humble beginnings three years ago. They have a really neat story. As some of you know, I once interviewed to work for Lifewater, another clean water organization. The more I learn about the need (including from organizations that do not focus specially on clean water), the more I realize the truth of what a fundamental need this is. Clean water access can revitalize entire communities, dramatically increasing health as well as education and work opportunties for people who otherwise spend hours every day fetching water. I think God designed us this way as an illustration of our need for Jesus, the Living Water.

As I balance between giving away items I no longer use and accumulating new ones for my first solo living experience, I am also trying to learn the balance between giving away my money to people who need it more while still spending personally. I haven't found a formula, but I do think that I (and probably all of us) am called to give away much, much more than I want to admit. Still, I have found that even on a small scale God amply repays whatever I give away, both in tangible and intangible measurements. This is an ongoing point of surrender for me, though do truly believe that it is better to give than to receive.

Bullet Update

-Moved into my lovely new apartment with two toned paint...though still battling for my full housing allowance.
-Emily is out of the hospital and coming home early September.
-Mom is home as of Tuesday.
-I need to get an oil change.
-I forgot how expensive toilet paper and paper towels are.
-I still severely dislike traffic.
-Looking forward to reconnecting with my friends in Southern California.
-I'm way behind on my phone calls.
-I hope I'm able to make a lasting difference in the lives of these motel community families.
-I thank God that He is faithful and doesn't give up on us. That He has a perfect love and continues to change us. Amen.

Moving headache, literally and figuratively

After much red tape and miscommunication, I'm borrowing money from my parents for the initial payment and moving into my apartment tomorrow. I had wanted my living allowance to pay for this first month's rent, but it seems impossible at this point. It is disappointing that I had to come up with this payment; I don't think I'll be reimbursed.

Training in Washington went well. We stayed at a new, four star Hyatt Regency just outside Seattle. My roommate and I went downtown to see the new musical version of Catch Me if You Can, written by the creators of Hairspray and The Full Monty. It was mediocre, but we had a fun experience. Also, it ended up being a benefit concert for a nonprofit offering services to the impoverished, so we were happy to support that in part. The next night we went to Pike's Market and the Seattle Art Museum. It turned out to be free day at the museum. I'm not a big fan of iconoclasm, minimalism, or African art, and so was disappointed in the collection as a whole. However, it is a beautiful facility, and I did surprisingly enjoy the porcelain collection and a few individual pieces.

Well, I'm procrastinating on packing, which always takes longer than one expects. I've had a persistent headache all day that has sapped my energy and thrown me off schedule. May I recommend "Myles of Style" on www.hgtv.com as an antidote. I just discovered Kim Myles last night and after watching several of her shows (design shows are pretty much the only TV I watch, besides the Olympic gymmnasts) have remained impressed with her taste, flair, and ingenuity. She's had no formal design training, but that woman is good! She seems to really tailor her output to the client while still trusting her own judgment (after all, the client did apply to her show). She's quite creative, assisted by a capable carpenter. I'll have to add a carpenter to my fantasy list of handy friends. (Still looking for that mechanic...)

Romans 8:28

Thank you to those of you praying for my sister, Emily. Her fever broke on Friday (dates are a bit confusing because they are ten hours ahead) and today she was taken off oxygen. She was also moved today from the ICU to the pulmonary unit. Evidently she is still in pain with atypical pneumonia, but she is progressing and was able to sit up unassisted. My Mom is worn out and experiencing some lower back pain, but is happy to be there.

This evening I found out that an elderly friend, one of my church members from my old church in SLO, passed away after a long bout in the hospital. Thankfully she went to be with the Lord, but she will still be missed.

Today was my last official day of work with the California Literary Arts Society and I will miss the lovely Executive Director and our varied literary pursuits. Tomorrow morning I am flying to Bellevue, Washington for a four day orientation with AmeriCorps. On Sunday afternoon I will drive to Orange County to endure local orientation for a day and a half and then hopefully will move into an apartment Tuesday evening. The apartment is still up in the air; I am waiting on both the leasing agency and my employer to approve paperwork. My first day of work is Wednesday.

This has been a difficult month for my family, but we continue to enjoy our many blessings and believe that:

All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 NKJV

Amen

Fever Broke

Thanks to those of you who have been praying for my sister Emily. Her fever broke yesterday and her condition changed from critical to stable. She remains in the ICU on oxygen with (I believe) double pneumonia. Though she is on pain meds, she evidently has consistent pain in her lower back. She would undoubtedly elaborate on my explanation with her nursing lexicon, but I believe that this is enough information to elicit sympathy. We have been calling her cell phone via Skype, which offers the best rates. Mom is staying at a hostel there until Emily gets out of the hospital. Again, thank you for your prayers. This has been a rough month for my family, but we continue to trust that God works ALL things together for good for those who love Him, those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). This doesn't mean that pain, disappointment, tragedy, and hardship will never touch us, but that through God's grace, good can come out of them.

On Friday Donovan and I went to the Orange County Super Fair for a few hours and became the first two people of my acquaintance to consume a fried Twinkie. It's not recommended for any culinary merit, but 'twas an experience worth $3.75. Aren't the Twinkies a people group from Oz? This could explain so much...

Emily Update

Latest update: Emily is being moved to the ICU as she has pneumonia in both lungs. She says she's not worried, and neither am I. However, she is rather seriously sick in a foreign country, so please keep her in your prayers. Also, the parentals are stressed. Thanks!

P.S.

Also, I was able to talk to both Nicki and Veronica the past couple days, both newly arrived home from other continents. Yay!

Jeremiah 29:11

Yours truly is still desperately attempting to sort through the red tape and roadblocks with AmeriCorps as well as my potential apartment lease. Latest AmeriCorps escapade: they misspelled my last name on my plane ticket (???) and are waiting to hear back from the travel agent to see if it can be fixed by Tuesday morning. On the same day I received the botched itinerary, the leasing officer put the wrong payment amount on my holding deposit receipt, so I have to ask them to fix that as well. Mom says, "Welcome to the real world" which I regard as a pessimistic view.

Emily is in the hospital in Israel with an ailment that is flummoxing diagnosis. The doctors thought it was a kidney infection but now think it is tied to respiratory trouble. I have always pictured the two as quite different sections of the anatomy, so the discrepancy is a bit unnerving. Evidently the hospital is up to par and she is receiving plenty of visitors. I wonder if she is still managing to be sleep-deprived in the hospital. If anyone could manage, 'twould be Emily. Lest I seem flippant about my sister's condition, I should add that I covet your prayers on this matter. I am also praying for my friend Velma Hutchins (from my church in SLO) who is essentially on life support. She has bacterial infections (CMV, infection in the lungs, and something in her blood). Her white blood count is going up. She is on full dialysis, and she has low body temperature. Please pray for this elderly woman who loves the Lord.

Mom and I were privileged to attend Chris and Deanna's wedding in Los Cabos, Mexico this past weekend. The ceremony was beautiful and meaningful and we were more than happy to be there in full support of their union. It was also a pleasure to spend time with the Gartner family over the weekend. With all of the weddings I annually attend, I think I have made the majority of decisions for my own, aided by my decisive nature. (That was thrown in there for all my indecisive friends.) As for Los Cabos, I have concluded that it has nothing on San Diego except for an determined collection of resorts, though I always enjoy visiting new places.

Work at the California Literary Arts Society is wrapping up, and soon I'll be packing for my move to Orange County. Donovan and I had our eight-month anniversary for those of you keeping track (which is all the J's). Beth is in Arizona visiting her best friend and Mom is picking them up to bring them home after a quick visit with her lifetime friends in Phoenix. Shrimp is still living an enviable life. Oh, and Jeremy and I take turns beating each other at Boggle. I told you my brother is smart. I'll finally have room for my board game collection in my new apartment. You have to appreciate the little things, like rediscovering "Never My Love" by the Association. I was proud of Nick for knowing it. The end.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Quick Update

As of Monday, I am officially accepted to my AmeriCorps position and am 100% moving to Orange County in a few weeks. There are still complications with my housing allowance and thus my move date (i.e. trying to navigate without getting stuck in the red tape), but I hope to move the weekend of August 8. Prior to that, I will be in Bellvue, WA (I think I totally massacred the spelling) from August 4-7 being trained.

Yesterday I was thinking about how few things are constant in our lives. It seems that circumstances and people are generally seasonal. I do believe that "the natural things speak of the invisible." Perhaps God designed the earth with seasons to show us that while some things are constant, change is normal and natural. Of course, we have all observed people whose lives seem to reflect a Mediterranean climate: temperate and stable. I prefer that myself, both literally and as a metaphor, yet with ample opportunities to travel and experience difference. I know this is one reason we treasure our families--their prescence is often constant in a world that is not. Praise God for His faithfulness and steadfastness.

July so far

As I was recently reminded, it has been quite some time since I have posted. My laptop is currently out on loan, which has curtailed the amount of time I spend online. (Our two home computers both have terribly uncomfortable chairs.) Moreover, though much has been on my mind, priorities have been elsewhere.

Last week a close family friend, Charlie Harris, unexpectedly went home to be with Jesus. Charlie was the assistant pastor at our church and has been a regular part of my life for nineteen years. My family and I have been spending a lot of time with his family and answering phone calls, etc. It has been a long week and a half.

Though it has been over a month, I am also still waiting to be confirmed from the national AmeriCorps office for my position in Orange County. It has been a frustrating process -- or lack of a process. There are about thirty other people in the same boat, but I am a bit more affected because I am one of the only ones relocating. My move date is August 3rd, but I may have to secure housing by July 20. I say "may" because the woman who sent me paperwork with that date is unsure whether or not that date is correct. This seems to be AmeriCorps modus operandi. Unfortunately, to summarize a long explanation, I have to wait for my confirmation to sign a lease. Despite my anger towards AmeriCorps' incompetancy and inconsideration, I do know that the Lord has a place for me. I'm not looking forward to moving back to Orange County, but I do think that is where He wants me for now. This means He also has a place for me to live. Thankfully, I am looking forward to my new job and shall probably be updating you on it.

My mom just told me: "Your days are numbered."
Me: "I am going to put that in my blog post."
Mom: "That's not good if your mother says your days are numbered."
Me: Unsympathetic chuckle

She was referring to me being on their health insurance.

My part-time job is proceeding nicely. Mary, my boss, feeds me chocolate and compliments me effusively, so I am pampered. I finished a small grant proposal for the City of Ventura, Cultural Affairs Division and turned it in on Friday. We are now working primarily on planning the Ventura Book Festival, which will be July 25. Last year almost 1,000 people attended, and we have twelve presenters and thirty exhibitors lined up for this year. It's fun to be a part of it, though I won't be able to attend the actual event due to being in Cabo San Lucas for Deanna and Chris's wedding. Last Wednesday Donovan and I walked through Main Street in Ventura asking the shops to display posters for the book festival. It was nice to be able to stroll downtown, ducking into all the stores on a temperate afternoon while being on the clock.

In other recent events, a group of friends from Orange County (Amanda, Becca, Donovan, and Ryan) joined me a couple weeks ago for a viewing of Les Miserables in Solvang. The show is one of my absolute favorite musicals, and it was good to be on the Central Coast again, albeit briefly. My friend and former London roommate Sarika visited me last weekend and we had a lovely time, despite the recent news of Charlie's death. We went honeytasting, saw a play in Santa Paula with Kate, walked around Ventura, played games with Donovan, and went to Orange County for the Fourth of July. It was a treat to have her here from out of state. Today, I met with Lindsay for the first time since December. She has been in West Virginia for a few months for a dietetic internship and is now home in Simi Valley for a season. It is good to have her back in the vicinity.

I aim to enjoy these last three weeks with my family, minus Emily who is in Israel. Soon I will be working full-time again in a new location, sleep-deprived and farther away from many of my friends. Still, the best place to be is where God wants you. I'll also be closer to my grandparents and Emily, Donovan, Heather, Joe and Suzanne, and my newer friends in Orange County. I praise God for taking care of me.

Something to contemplate

“Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty,suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it.”

“Well, why don’t you ask Him?”

“Because I’m afraid He would ask me the same question.”

- Anonymous

SLO with Camera

Despite my limited time there, I had a lovely time visiting SLO last weekend -- and for once use my camera. I was unable to visit with everyone who I wanted to see, but was especially glad to be able to visit with Christy (who is rarely south these days) and Steven and David (whose graduations and subsequent out-of-state relocations are imminent). The weekend was filled entirely with people, and if I missed you, hopefully I will see you on the second round in a couple of weeks. My apologies in the meantime.

Highlights:

--> "You + Me = We" piece at Stephanie's dance show
--> Stephanie's dance show, viewed with Richie, Katie, and Aurina
--> Steven's surprise offer to join me in the intrepid adventure of traversing SLO through the creek tunnels under the city streets (with Christy joining)
--> Taco dinner with the Wesleyians
--> Two games of Settler's (also referenced as SOC)
--> Beautiful SLO
--> Lunch with Erica -- coupons!
--> Chocolate desserts from Richie and Steven
--> Hearing Calandra and Richie play the piano again

Got the job!

My enthusiasm is somewhat tempered due to a minor cold, but I begin work early August in an AmeriCorps position in Anaheim. It is part of a collaboration between First 5 Orange County, Magnolia School District, and School Readiness Expansion. I hope to find an apartment with the housing allowance they provide. The job description is below. Call me if you want more info.

Member Duties : The overall goal of this VISTA position will be to support the City of Anaheim School Readiness Collaborative with their planning and outreach efforts targeting families living in motels. Responsibilities include: 1. Solicit and coordinate receipt of donations including the development of a donor tracking list, request letter, etc. 2. Manage collection and distribution of donated items. 3. Establish donor relationships through follow-ups and marketing, including sending thank you letters. 4. Establish relationships with community partners for assisting motel families. 5. Identify and obtain basic needs kit for children living in motels to include shoes, clothing, school supplies and backpacks. 6. Coordinate an adopt-a-family program for Christmas for motel families. 7. Coordinate health fairs within motel communities served. 8. Conduct outreach to motel families on benefits and services available. 9. Professional Development, Training and Reporting participation expected.

People ask me what I do with all my free time.

"And it will be said in that day:
'Behold, this is our God;
We have waited for Him, and He will save us.
This is the Lord;
We have waited for Him;
We will be glad and rejoice in His salvation."
Isaiah 26:3

What beautiful language of faith looking forward to the defeat of Israel's enemies. Today is one of those mornings when all of a sudden I realize that the half-dozen things I have to do are actually a dozen things -- and for once I do not exaggerate on my numbers. I suppose I should not have procrastinated so much for the past couple of days, though I have been industrious in some areas. (Does loading two photo albums to Facebook count?) Regardless, nothing is in crisis mode. I can make a few phone calls on the road and sacrifice some reading time. This verse reminds me that small to-do lists and larger plans for the future swirling around in my head are really of no consequence compared to knowing that God is faithful and will take care of me.

I know I'm being awfully vague, so I shall type my current list here as I get it squared away in my head.

Call the eye doctor
Call Tom
Call Veronica
Call my grandma
Call Amanda
Fold my laundry
Edit Daniel's thesis
Look over Cultural paperwork
Shower
Go to work
Email Donna
Clean the kitchen
Write Jon's thank-you
Put sheets on the bed
Straighten my room
Email Leanne

All right, off to the races.

Brief Update

As most of you know, I have been unemployed for the past five months and thus residing in Fillmore with the parentals and the two youngest siblings. This has certainly been a time of growth as I continue to pursue working in the nonprofit field, preferably with an organization that seeks to alleviate crisis needs in Christ's name. A few times I thought the end was in sight, but the door was closed. As of yesterday, I am now employed part-time through July by the California Literary Arts Society. It is a small nonprofit that primarily focuses on writing workshops for underprivileged kids. I was introduced to one of its members through my grantwriting class and will also be helping them write a grant. The work is slated to last through July, which would time nicely should I be accepted to work beginning early August at a nonprofit in Orange County through AmeriCorps. Though only truly interested in one, I have applied to five positions through AmeriCorps and feel that I am a strong candidate. Competition for other jobs has been quite incredible; it is discouraging at times to realize that I am often being compared to candidates with three to twenty years of experience. Still, I know that God will take care of me.

It is rather frightening to see how easily I revel in the luxery of unemployment. It is like a perpetual vacation, and I was never one to be bored during summers off school. My time is quickly and (generally) pleasantly filled, and I still watch relatively few movies and virtually no television. This has indeed been a pleasant interlude with plenty of time to lavish on the people and activities I love. It has also been an excellent learning experience, one of the lessons being that I will never have enough time in the day. Contentment is so much more of a choice than we suppose.

Thanks for your time. :)

Good to remember...

The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us

Thanks

Thank you, Donovan for helping me update my blog. <3

I do believe; I do!

My charming little brother just sneered, "No one reads your blog." Clap if you read it! It may yet live!

The time has come.

Aack! I'm doing it! I'm submitting my story to a memoir contest. I think I might have a pretty good shot at placing. In any event, I may be working for the nonprofit that hosts the contest, so my submission fee could be considered donated time, in a way. If I win, I may be motivated to devote more time and energy to the written word.

Serving Los Angeles

Hi friends!

Our dear family friends the Holladays have a church in downtown Los Angeles. They minister to a poor, spiritually dark community and are always on the lookout for items to minister to physical need. I recently asked Marion Holladay if they had any particular needs, and she responded with the list below. If you come across any of these items, would you save them for me?

Thanks!
Katie

P.S. If you have watched "The Soloist" (which I would recommend as not brilliant but as a thought-provoking departure from our usual junk food media), you will have an idea of the population they serve.

"We can always use clothes, blankets, soap, towels, washcloths, socks, bottled water, canned goods, soups (microwaveable) deodorant, shampoo (smaller bottles) , after shave, cologne, lotions etc. Thanks for asking. We always say if we are not home just leave it in front of our big garage doors. If you have used clothing put it in garbage bags but don't make them too heavy. We appreciate all the help we can get. Thanks a lot."

Nor have entered into the heart of man...

Dear Friends:

Selfishly, I wish that I had some news or insight to share with you today. Instead, today has been one of those inner dialogue days when I stride up and down a mental corridor alternately critiquing and encouraging myself. Moreover, the heat shot up into the 90's this morning, which invariably contributes to a draining lethargy. In the midst of my list of self-imposed as well as necessary tasks, I realized that for the moment none of them were as important as stopping and proclaiming God's goodness. Today is the National Day of Prayer, and one of the highlights was being reminded again that "There is a God" and He is involved with humankind on every level. Just now, I was writing 1 Corinthians 2:9 on a graduation card: Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things God has prepared for those who love Him. (NKJV). More important than my self-perceptions (especially the vacillating ones of today) is the fact that God loves me and has a purpose for me. I want better for myself than discouragement, laziness, and fatigue. I will walk into what God has prepared for me. If you are one who loves God, know that He has incredible, abundant life-bringing plans for you as well.

NOW, I can continue to my list of things to do, and perhaps even incorporate a nap.

Later,
Katie

"Come fill me again."

Sometimes I try to find alternative versions of my favorite songs. One can hit pay dirt or be sorely disappointed. I should have known better than to try this with "Annie's Song" by John Denver. I wanted something just a tinge less country but was ... sorely disappointed.

Same old, same old here. I've been getting discouraged regarding the job search. I do think that I am doing what the Lord wants, but at times I question whether or not I am missing something. Should I be working at Payless? Moving out? Cleaning more? I'm unsure. I'm hoping to be chosen for a part time job at a church in Ventura, but they are reluctant to hire me without a year commitment. I, in turn, am reluctant to commit for a year to a part time job. I have been praying about it and feel that I need to wait a week while they try to interview other people. Sigh. Waiting is not one of my strengths. It has definitely been good for me to have to practice it over the past few months.

Let's see. I went to Bennett and Laura's wedding a weekend or two ago. That was lovely, and it was a blessing to see old friends. Likewise I saw Richie, Katie, Dani and the rest of the Morrisons yesterday for a prolonged period of time. I actually like their version of golf, probably because I was not inherently the worst player. Also, it was a low-exertion activity. Hmm. Emily is going to Israel in a couple of weeks. Oh, I quite enjoyed myself at the Goodwill 50%-off sale on Wednesday. I recently painted and reorganized my room and needed a lampshade for a lamp I salvaged from the attic at church. I scored a cool one for $2. In other news, I decided to conduct church services at the convalescent home on the first Sunday of the month in addition to our usual third. I'm praying that God will bring people to continue it after I leave. Beth and Jeremy were kind enough to go with me today. (Well, I also bribed Jeremy, but he probably would have come anyway. As Emily would say, he's cool like that.)

This week is shaping up to be a busy one with social engagements, editing Daniel's thesis, my grantwriting class, house maintainence, and the National Day of Prayer. I know I'll be antsy to hear from the church in Ventura, so it will be good to have distractions. In the meantime I'll continue to look for other openings, preferably full time ones. I'm still determined to pursue nonprofits.

This has been a haphazard update on the life and times of Katherine Brooks. Tune in next time for philosophical musings on asking for money (i.e. grant applications), the relativity of wealth, and nature v. nurture.

We aim to please?

So I've begun a "Lift the Lid" campaign in my 836 Central Avenue abode. I'm going to spare you the details on the motivations behind the campaign, but suffice it to say that when I informed my mother that I was about to embark on this venture, she said, "Well, I am glad that someone else is promoting the cause." One of my scruples is to continually ameliorate my immediate surroundings and this is a subcampaign of my larger goal of improving the quality of life for the Brooks Family. Living at home has given me a greater opportunity to observe nature v. nurture in my personality and habits. My preferences for cleanliness and organization appear to be nature, though not immediately hereditary. I think they must have descended from my grandmother; my mother's sister inherited them as well.

One of my current favorites

mor⋅a⋅to⋅ri⋅um

   /ˌmɔrəˈtɔriəm, -ˈtoʊr-, ˌmɒr-/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [mawr-uh-tawr-ee-uhm, -tohr-, mor-] Show IPA

–noun, plural -to⋅ri⋅a  /-ˈtɔriə, -ˈtoʊr-/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [-tawr-ee-uh, -tohr-] Show IPA , -to⋅ri⋅ums.

1.	a suspension of activity: a moratorium on the testing of nuclear weapons.

2.	a legally authorized period to delay payment of money due or the performance of some other legal obligation, as in an emergency.

3.	an authorized period of delay or waiting.

---

Origin:
1870–75; < class="ital-inline">morātōrium, n. use of neut. of morātōrius moratory

Calender

Last night Beth won the third level of the Lion's Club speech contest. The refreshments were scrumptious, primarily consisting of bread and cheese platters. A wine bar surprisingly emerged, its presence even more incongruous in the dilapidated, concrete building. Altogether a successful evening. I also completed my first tree climbing of the year; freezing feet cut the event short.

(Just walked home from church after loading chairs for the Easter sunrise service tomorrow.)

Even though I am unemployed, my calender still manages to fill. Over half the boxes have blue scrawl: birthdays, speeches, pub quiz, church, visits to and from, vow renewals, graduations, weddings, etc. Too bad I can't have a career volunteering in the mornings and being a socialite in the afternoons and evenings. It has been a lovely interim, but I do desire an income. (The word "need" will come into play when my parents stop being so patient.) Well, I hear back from at least one organization a week saying they don't have any open positions. Government jobs (for which my resume has me well-suited) are also scarce. I trust that God has a perfect plan.

Have a blessed Easter as we celebrate Christ's victory over death!

Amen.

House Beautiful

I have recently discovered that I am a fan of House Beautiful. Hopefully the library will discard more of their old editions so that I can procure them for $0.10. Don't worry; I don't keep them interminably. I've pared down quite a bit, but am still managing to continue my habit of getting rid of one thing a day. It's amazing how easily "stuff" accumulates. I've read once or twice that it takes three weeks to institute a daily habit. I suppose this and flossing/mouthwash are two successful examples. How long would it take to create a weekly habit? Accountability probably reduces the time for both. I'm rambling now. Au revoir.

P.S. After writing this post, I discovered I could subscribe for a mere $10 for 14 issues ($0.71 each), so I splurged. My room's current lack of aesthetic appeal is sure to bother me even more now, but hopefully I'll be relocating relatively soon.

Things I Like

Head scarves
Red pens (particularly ball-point)
Candles
My cat, Shrimp
The tree in my backyard
Clean sheets
Well-functioning vacuum cleaners
Literary references
National Geographic
Crossing things off my to-do list
Getting thank-you cards
The United States Postal Service
Wit
Philippians

SLO

This weekend Donovan joined me for a jaunt to SLO. These ventures to my former abode are always bittersweet for me. I so enjoy visiting people and basking in the charm and comfort of my adopted home, but do tend to mourn my resettlement anew. Still, it was a blessed weekend. The Wesleyians were kind enough to put us up for three nights, and I was able to spend time with many friends: Richie, Steven, Jonathan, Caitlyn, Rocio, Korie, Brent, Carlene, Drew, Scott, Daniel, Stephanie, and my Crossroads church family. Other people, such as David and Kevin and John and Elvis, granted cameo appearances.

Highlights:

Reading my post-apocalyptic novel (compliments of Greg) at Linnea's sunny back garden for a few hours whilst Donovan read critiques on education for his Sociology class.

Encountering a beautifully decorated Cambria store replete with bibelots and a gracious owner who bequeathed a curiously carved five-inch tripod that was the object of my admiration. This was also the source of seashells and sea urchin spines purchased for me by Donovan.

Lunch at Golden China (first time!) with Helen, Lee, and Sam whose long-time friendship with the owners enables them to order non-menu concoctions and wander into the kitchen unescorted to fetch tea.

Fatty's white sauce chicken pizza - $3.80 per person. Nice.

Rum raisin ice cream at Blue's, a fitting end to a delightful repast with Donovan. I'm so pleased they chose to use golden raisins. How wise. Golden raisins are by and large undeservedly ignored.

Teasing Richie.

Listening to Stephanie.

Korie's smile.

Seeing my friends.

Staying up late with Donovan.

The gorgeous drive. I love the eleven million shades of green on the hills near Los Alamos.

It was a lovely trip, and upon my return I was surprised to discover some acquaintances making themselves at home in my room:


I think my mother needs to be more judicious in who she allows to roam the house.

Praise God for His abundant blessings and perfect timing. Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift of Christ Jesus. (2 Corinthians 9:15 paraphrased) Amen!

P.S. I was mad at myself for failing to take a picture of the congregation of ex-Wesleyians and honoraries, but at least Steph captured a few trio shots with her new Mac:

The guitar playing starts young.

I am partial to these.

bi⋅be⋅lot

  /ˈbɪbloʊ; Fr. bib^əˈloʊ/ [bib-loh; Fr. beeb^uh-loh] –noun, plural -lots /-loʊz; Fr. -ˈloʊ/ [-lohz; Fr. -loh]

a small object of curiosity, beauty, or rarity.

---

Origin:
1870–75; <>bibel- (expressive formation akin to bauble ) + -ot n. suffix

We are a new creation!

Cardboard Testimonies from Overlake Christian Church on Vimeo.

Jury Assembly Room Ruminations

People are strange. I’m sitting behind tinted windows whose mirrored nature provides a dual view of the courtyard just beyond and the jury room behind me. The gentleman to the left is wearing a vivid green shirt with subtle perpendicular stripes and a pastel green bowtie. He’s much too large to be a leprechaun, but we all have our dreams. Though he looks like a variation of one of my favorite professors (Performance of Literature and Small Group), he appears to be some sort of engineer judging by the large textbook with a profusion of tiny numbers and geometric shapes. I think engineers are taking over, probably due to the sudden Alaskan and Taiwanese influx.
Oh, I’m so tired. I want a doughnut. This is an unusual craving. Pods of sheriffs keep strolling by window, making me nostalgic for ride-alongs and loud voices down the corridor. Is it permissible to refer to sheriffs as pods? I don’t think they would mind, coming from me. It’s interesting how we are willing to receive some statements only from a select few. Hah, the weight of this dude’s keychain seems to be aiding gravity more than he would like. Hark, he pauses in his ungainly ambles to valiantly hoist upward. I have a question: Do men genuinely have a predilection for plaid, particularly as a covering for the nether regions, or is it foisted upon them by the limited imaginations of designers (with the exception of mystifying holiday extravaganzas)?
I was actually early this morning, but it turns out that I could have been twenty minutes late. Of course, of course. Orientation is starting with an energetic government employee enthusing into the microphone. Morning people...

They must have alternate sources of income.

As requested

Yes, this is Donovan. No, I don't carry around a picture in my purse or on my person, but here you go, compliments of Caitlyn.

An unconventional love song.

Check out the music here:
You are beautiful, my sweet sweet song!

You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song
You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song
You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song
And I will sing again

You are so good to me
You heal my broken heart
You are my Father in Heaven (2x)

You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song
You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song

You ride upon the clouds
You lead me to the truth
You are the Spirit inside me (2x)

You are my strong melody, yeah
You are my dancing rhythm
You are my perfect rhyme
And I will sing of You forever

You poured out all Your blood
You died upon the cross
You are my Jesus who loves me (2x)

You are my Father in Heaven
You are the Spirit inside me
You are my Jesus who loves me

Yet another reason to be a fan.

Adultery? Why fool about with hamburger when you can have steak at home?

Paul Newman

Five minutes to ponder

My mother, who enjoys planning and bonding moments, just called "Five minutes" from the dining room. I sit in her cluttered bedroom, distracted from our imminent departure by the need to clear some space in my brain. The motivation is partially the haphazard arrangement of the room as well as the deformed desk chair whose back angles forward, causing my stomach to brush the top of my thighs when I fidget in protest. My hair sticks out in odd angles, stubbornly recalling its former arrangement with my beret. The moment is about self-awareness -- not a new-age euphemism for identity but truly being aware of my hunched matter punching the keyboard and my personality wanting to play with words and my restless intellect that constantly skips ahead, disregarding that the other two are loathe to take shortcuts.

Daily Light, February 24, pm

Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?

I know, O Lord, that Your judgments are right, and that in faithfulness You have afflicted me. * O Lord, You are our Father; we are the clay, and You are potter; and all we are the work of Your hand. * It is the Lord. Let Him do what seems good to Him.
Righteous are You, O Lord, when I plead with You; yet let me talk with You about Your judgments.
He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver. * Whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives. * It is enough for a disciple that he be like his teacher, and a servant like his master. * Though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.
But rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. * These are the ones who come out of the great tribulation, and washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb.

Job 2:10; Ps. 119:75; Isa. 64:8; 1 Sam. 3:18; Jer. 12:1; Mal. 3:3; Heb. 12:6; Matt. 10:25; Heb. 5:8; 1 Pet. 4:13; Rev 7:14

Daily Light, February 24, am

Thus says the Lord God: "I will also let the house of Israel inquire of Me to do this for them."

You do not have because you do not ask.
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. * This is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. * If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. * Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it. * Men always ought to pray and not lose heart.
The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry. The Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. * You will ask in My name, and I do not say to you that I shall pray the Father for you; for the Father Himself loves you, because you have loved Me. Ask, and you will receive, that your job may be full.

Ezek. 36:37; James 4:2; Matt. 7:7-8; 1 John 5:14-15; James 1:5; Ps. 81:10; Luke 18:1; Ps. 34:15, 17; John 26-27, 24

The Quiet World by Jeffrey McDaniel

In an effort to get people to look
into each other's eyes more,
the government has decided to allot
each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it
to my ear without saying hello.
In the restuarant I point
at chicken noodle soup. I am
adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long-
distance lover and proudly say:
I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn't respond, I know
she's used up all her words,
so I slowly whisper I love you,
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.

I like to think this is me. Note the Greek orgins.

aes⋅thete

   /ˈɛsθit or, especially Brit., ˈis-/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [es-theet or, especially Brit., ees-] Show IPA

–noun

1.	a person who has or professes to have refined sensitivity toward the beauties of art or nature.

2.	a person who affects great love of art, music, poetry, etc., and indifference to practical matters.

Also, esthete.

---

Origin:
1880–85; < class="ital-inline">aisthēts one who perceives, equiv. to aisthē- (var. s. of aisthánesthai to perceive) + -tēs n. suffix denoting agent

Synonyms:
1. connoisseur. 2. dilettante.

Oops, I missed.

"Missing" is an interesting emotion, isn't it? There are so many types of missing. There is simply noticing a missing element. Or the gnawing ache of a permanent absence or loss. The wistful yearning for something or something that we acknowledge as a bonus rather than an integral part of our lives. I'm not intending to use poetic language but terms with which we can easily connect. I'm sure that there are many layers and types of missing. People probably write terribly depressing and insipid books on the subject. And of course I realize that the missings often blend together until we do not quite know how to describe them or solve them other than instant gratification, the presence of the missed. It is not a strange concept to want something that we do not have, but somehow the concept of missing seems more complex. Yes, the missed must have been ours in some capacity at one point in order to be later missed. Inherent, inherent. So perhaps it is the sense of loss that accompanies missing that makes it so poignant. I am uncertain as to how much rumination on this topic is beneficial.

I miss school and the Central Coast and London. I miss having structure and having various friends easily accessible. Generally I miss people who are no longer routinely in my life, but that aspect of missing has been decreasing since graduation. Perhaps the Lord wanted to break that off of me. In any case, my losses are relatively few and are generally due to the end of a season rather than to something or someones being taken from me. The beauty of loving the Lord is being at peace and content with where He has placed you and with whom. It is impossible for all of the missed to converge at once, nor would I be able to adequately appreciate all of them even if it were so. There is something to be said for capturing the moment while not holding on too tightly. Let go; let God. It's a theme of late, and I am happy to be able to extend it to this area of my life. It is a blessing how much more easily I am able to to end thought processes with that conviction. Amen.

Learning Style Test

Turns out I am a visual/verbal learner followed closely by visual/nonverbal. Surprise, surprise. I love personality tests!

You learn best when information is presented visually and in a written language format. In a classroom setting, you benefit from instructors who use the blackboard (or overhead projector) to list the essential points of a lecture, or who provide you with an outline to follow along with during lecture. You benefit from information obtained from textbooks and class notes. You tend to like to study by yourself in a quiet room. You often see information "in your mind's eye" when you are trying to remember something. 

Take the test here!

"Hard to plan the day"

A million and ten things to do, and I am uncharacteristically having difficulty focusing. I have the urge to create, to invest in a message that will embrace my varied audience. Yes, the audience that I am ignoring as individuals in favor of blog-therapy. Attempting to make my thoughts concrete is like trying to capture a sunset with crayons and a paper towel. Here are my scribblings:

The notion that I am able to be everything to everyone through even responding (much less saying the right thing at the right time) is ludicrous. Yet, I still try. I still create my to-do lists, sometimes because I enjoy them and sometimes as mild forms of reproach. ("Pink" letters, perhaps?) Today I was ruminating again on how Jesus spent the first thirty years of his life in ... what? Carpentry for a time. Jewish community, yes. During his ministry, Jesus certainly spent great amounts of time in "crisis relief work." Yet, He certainly had a ministry of friendship. He lived in community. He enjoyed spending time with His friends and foremost His Father.

Maybe I'm supposed to be using this time of unemployment to learn how to spend time with God first instead of with people. Even with few obligations, my time floats away so easily. I find myself wanting fulfillment through a career in crisis relief work. This is not inherently a wrong desire. However, when it distracts me from being content in this present season, it is a devious idol. The point is that if Jesus did not spend every waking moment in crisis relief work, than I doubt that is the call God has for my life. It's certainly not what I want, but I find myself feeling an uneasy guilt that I'm not attempting to save the world 24/7.

It occurred to me as I lugged one of the last boxes from the garage to my room to unpack that it is pride to think that God needs me to be working every second in order to bring salvation to the world. We fail to give God credit. Foolishly, we doubt that He is able to single-handedly able to rescue mankind. In a broken world, He commands us to extend His love and treat the "least of these" as we would treat Him. He clearly tells us to care for orphans and widows in their troubles. He commands us to remember those in chains as if chained with them. However, He does not need us. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we are clearly supposed to help people, but only in the context of following Christ. We should go only where He is leading. I stumbled across this quote earlier today:

I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
E. B. White

White sounds like an ENFJ. :)I need to be done planning and cogitating for now. Let go; let God. Amen.

Untapped depths?

I seem to glean nuggets of self-insight during job interviews. Strangely for me, I don't try to anticipate all of the questions and plan stunning answers. Rather, I formulate my opinion on the job and how well-suited I am, my views on the organization, and possible weaknesses to support. My interviews are therefore generally quite pleasant; rarely does the actual interview cause stress. The point of this explication is to relate one of the most interesting questions I have yet received: do you have a writing style? I don't remember my exact answer, but I believe I related that I tailor my output to my audience while tending to be a bit formal. The question was original, and I wished I had a better answer. (I still lack an adequate one.) The follow-up question was what type of writing I liked best, and immediately I answered correspondence. It was insightful, as I had never previously pondered the question.

It's interesting how questions can inspire truths at which it is hard for me to arrive solely through self-analyzing. It probably has to do with how God designed me with the need to verbalize. Truths sink in when I say them to someone else. Even repeating them aloud to myself helps. Interesting the way people's minds work. In a way it's good to know I can still surprise myself, though I think I attribute it to untapped depths rather than lack of self-discernment. Oh, silly me. :)

Loving "too much"?

It is probably impossible to love any human being simply "too much." We may love him too much in proportion to our love for God; but it is the smallness of our love for God, not the greatness of our love for the man, that constitutes the inordinancy. ~ C.S. Lewis in The Four Loves

This is such truth. I've long known I cannot love people correctly without God's love pouring through me. Moreover, the more I love God, the more I am able to extend love to others. Lewis is not saying anything I have not realized and experienced, but he puts the matter in such admirable perspective. Praise God for gifting people such as Lewis.

Email Update

Hello Everyone,

Thank you more than I can articulately convey for your invaluable prayers and encouraging emails. As an update, my grandfather's health has improved more than we could have hoped. The morning of my email, his fever was 103.7, and he was refusing to eat and drink. The fire department had visited twice over the past two days due to a fall and his increasing fever. We honestly thought that it was time. I arrived at 3pm, one hour before the intensive care hospice nurse. A few minutes before the nurse came in, Grandpa awoke on his own and was relatively chatty. The nurse took his temperature and found that it had gone down to 98.6! I am convinced this was an answer to prayer. Though the fever rose again in the evening, it never reached 100 degrees. We saw Grandpa on Christmas, and though his health is generally precarious, he is out of danger. It was a blessing to be able to spend time with him when he was in good spirits and mobile enough to move out of bed.

As for myself, I am home in Fillmore until I find a job. The search was postponed for about a week and a half for Christmas, 24-hour stomach flu, a wedding in San Diego, and moving. Though I wish for employment, I am reminding myself to be open to what God wants for me in Fillmore. If "nothing else," I will be able to spend significant time with my family and friends in Ventura County and perhaps travel a bit north to visit other friends. It has occured to me during my over-zealous analyzing that God is also blessing me with the free time for which I have so often longed over the past three years. In this period of my life I am reminded again and again of Ephesians 2:10, which is written in the context of our salvation by grace through faith - For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we might walk in them.

Amen! And thanks again.

Katie