Today was the third memorial service I have attended in the last month and a half. At the first, the couple had been married 4.5 months (second marriages for each). At the second, they were married 62 years (my grandparents). Today's couple was married 32 years. The service today had the greatest reflection of the love of Christ. Joyce had been fighting cancer for five years. Her husband was tireless in his support. Their son-in-law read Ephesians 5 as a description of David's love for Joyce these past years, and their son had everyone give a round of applause for David's indefatigable love. Two people mentioned how even in the worst of pain, Joyce was concerned for David's welfare. Several people mentioned how Christ was the family's strength and how important it was for David and Joyce to give that legacy to their children and grandchildren. I only met Joyce once, but I teared up several times today hearing the testimonies and reflecting on how we experience God's love and strength the most in the midst of our greatest pain.
December 29, 2010
Memorials
December 24, 2010
More gems
Discovered during data entry:
And this:
Went home and looked up the band's website:
This song speaks "of the struggle to believe God's promises when there are no answers to the questions I want answered."
"This is a song to say that sometimes there aren't answers and we just need to hurt with people."
December 19, 2010
Awesome design idea
December 18, 2010
This weekend
Yesterday:
Christmas lunch at Wood Ranch compliments of my boss.
"Voyage of the Dawn Treader" with Mom. (2/3 pretty good, last 1/3 terrible)
Stayed up late finishing my first text adventure, courtesy of Christy.
Today:
Majorly slept in, enjoying the rain.
Paid traffic ticket from August and complete traffic school online. (Highly recommend Improv Traffic School. Super fast and easy for $25.00.)
Had a computer glitch in the middle of my second text adventure and abandoned the effort.
Goodwill run as a break from traffic school. Found Beth a new Converse dress from Target, a shirt, and another dress. She fits into everything.
Tomorrow:
Morning Christmas reading at church. Mom gave me a substantial chunk because my elocution is more vivacious.
Convalescent home service at 4pm.
Mime presentation at 7pm. All of my siblings are mimes and elves. I find it strange that I am the rebel for NOT being a mime or an elf. Am majorly worn out, but I press on.
December 14, 2010
Current state of To Do list
Call Tammy
Traffic school
Order checks
Read French book
Scriptures Pop
Renew House Beautiful
Renew National Geographic
Fix transcript
Bleach shoes
Nicki birthday card
Pam and Terri birthday cards
Call Cal Tech
December 10, 2010
I give up.
Some of you may recall me talking about surrendering to God early on v. waiting until we come to the end our own strength. I discovered this song today via my Ginny Owens Pandora station. (Realizing recently I really like Third Day.) I appreciate how it talks about surrendering our failures and other "negative" things to God. I'd say more, but that would be silly since the lyrics speak for themselves.
December 7, 2010
Fears and Lies
This is a conversation I have been having with my friends for the past, oh, 6 months about fears and lies. I like the way the author puts it. The last line of the post reminds me of the Ginny Owen's song "Who are You Listening To?" In April and May I would put that song and "If You Want Me To" on repeat and lie in my living room playing spider solitaire. P.S. Despite investigating, I still haven't figured out how to add audio files to this blog.
This is your life,
And yet somehow,
They decide,
What you're about,
You learn your lines,
And take your cues,
But who are you listening to?
You change your clothes,
And how you speak,
You place your hope,
In what they think,
Before you know
There's no more you,
Who are you listening to-
Have you noticed how much you fear,
All the voices you choose to hear
Who are you listening to?
Who tells you what to do?
Who rules your thoughts at night?
Whose rules define your life?
Oh, you know it's up to you,
So who are you listening to
This is your life,
You have no choice,
You will rely
On someone's voice,
And it's all right
To question who,
Who are you listening to?
Do the words that you believe
Set your soul and spirit free
There's a quiet voice,
Whispering in your heart,
It's been there all along,
It believes in you,
It will tell the truth,
Can't you hear it call?
This is your life,
And yet somehow,
They decide,
What you're about,
You learn your lines,
And take your cues,
But who are you listening to?
You change your clothes,
And how you speak,
You place your hope,
In what they think,
Before you know
There's no more you,
Who are you listening to-
Have you noticed how much you fear,
All the voices you choose to hear
Who are you listening to?
Who tells you what to do?
Who rules your thoughts at night?
Whose rules define your life?
Oh, you know it's up to you,
So who are you listening to
This is your life,
You have no choice,
You will rely
On someone's voice,
And it's all right
To question who,
Who are you listening to?
Do the words that you believe
Set your soul and spirit free
There's a quiet voice,
Whispering in your heart,
It's been there all along,
It believes in you,
It will tell the truth,
Can't you hear it call?
December 6, 2010
God has "long arms."
I have so much that I'm surrendering to God these days: Edna at the convalescent center who's had a stroke, my consideration for a development job in Encino, the plight of human trafficking victims, my non-relationship, my relatives, trials happening to my friends, etc. I realized that this is no different than normal; I just care about these things more than I cared about things in the past. I have been encouraged with the phrase, "Is the arm of the Lord shortened that it cannot save?"
We see this first in the book of Numbers. God had just miraculously delivered the Israelites from Egypt and had provided manna for them in the wilderness. The Israelites began to complain, and then Moses took up their complaining. Among other things, they complained that they were sick of eating manna. (Keith Green has an amusing song about this.) So God said He would provide meat, which I think was quite generous. And Moses basically says, "Look God, there are a whole lotta people here. You just said that you are going to provide meat for them for a month. Might want to rethink that one. How are you going to pull that off?" God's response: "And the Lord said to Moses, 'Has the Lord's arm been shortened? Now you shall see whether what I say will happen to you or not.'" Numbers 11:23
I find it rather embarrassing that this was Moses' response given the miracles he had witnessed. In the next chapter, it says that Moses was the most humble man on the face of the earth! I think this is why the Bible often reminds us to remember the great things that God has done for us. Are you going to believe circumstances or are you going to believe God? This is what I find myself asking often these days. Which is more trustworthy, Katie? Which is faithful? Which is true? Well, the answer is obvious.
The other example is in Isaiah, when he is talking about the judgment of Israel. It comes right after one of my favorite chapters in the Bible, all about God's chosen sacrifice being to care for the poor and seek justice.
"Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy that it cannot hear." Isaiah 59:1 However, Israel's sins had separated them from God. Verse 15a-16 says, "Then the Lord saw it, and it displeased Him that there was no justice. He saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no intercessor; therefore His own arm brought salvation for Him; and His own righteousness, it sustained Him." This speaks to God's judgment of Israel, but also the coming of Messiah.
We see this first in the book of Numbers. God had just miraculously delivered the Israelites from Egypt and had provided manna for them in the wilderness. The Israelites began to complain, and then Moses took up their complaining. Among other things, they complained that they were sick of eating manna. (Keith Green has an amusing song about this.) So God said He would provide meat, which I think was quite generous. And Moses basically says, "Look God, there are a whole lotta people here. You just said that you are going to provide meat for them for a month. Might want to rethink that one. How are you going to pull that off?" God's response: "And the Lord said to Moses, 'Has the Lord's arm been shortened? Now you shall see whether what I say will happen to you or not.'" Numbers 11:23
I find it rather embarrassing that this was Moses' response given the miracles he had witnessed. In the next chapter, it says that Moses was the most humble man on the face of the earth! I think this is why the Bible often reminds us to remember the great things that God has done for us. Are you going to believe circumstances or are you going to believe God? This is what I find myself asking often these days. Which is more trustworthy, Katie? Which is faithful? Which is true? Well, the answer is obvious.
The other example is in Isaiah, when he is talking about the judgment of Israel. It comes right after one of my favorite chapters in the Bible, all about God's chosen sacrifice being to care for the poor and seek justice.
"Behold, the Lord's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy that it cannot hear." Isaiah 59:1 However, Israel's sins had separated them from God. Verse 15a-16 says, "Then the Lord saw it, and it displeased Him that there was no justice. He saw that there was no man, and wondered that there was no intercessor; therefore His own arm brought salvation for Him; and His own righteousness, it sustained Him." This speaks to God's judgment of Israel, but also the coming of Messiah.
More decor pt. 3
 |
| Pretty much everything except the useless bench. Oh, and the blue lamp. |
Pretty much everything except the lamp and red wire dog.
Short lists
These are mildly interesting mostly because of what is NOT listed.
Favorite Christmas Carols
O Come, O Come Emmanuel
What Child is This
Unfinished Christmas Presents
Pop's
Grandma's
My Magazine Subscriptions (once I renew them)
National Geographic
House Beautiful
Countries I Have Visited
Mexico
Peru
South Korea
Britain
Ireland
Scotland
France
Italy
(Tokyo Airport)
November 30, 2010
Be loved --> Beloved
Epiphany moment: I've decided to change all my passwords since I've heard you're supposed to do that every few years. Since I type them so often, I was contemplating things that would be good for me to remember often. During this season, God has told me that I am supposed to be learning how to be loved. This was unexpected and almost embarrassing. So I was thinking that perhaps "be loved" would be a good one, and then I realized that if I put it in password form it smushes together to become "beloved." Aaah! Probably everyone else has already figured this out, but all of a sudden I saw this simple demonstration of the relationship between loving and being loved. As in, we love Him because He first loved us. I am God's beloved and am loved regardless of myself. However, how much am I missing out if I am not an active participant, if I am not willing to be loved? Everyone wants to be loved and to be someone's beloved, but God, the origin of love, is the only One who can satisfy is. When we choose to die to ourselves and accept God's love, we are eternally loved and are eternally His beloved.
Good stuff for a Monday night/Tuesday morning. (Why do Bible study leaders always use the phrase "good stuff"?)
November 28, 2010
You were always on my mind?
As I was eating my cereal tonight (standard fare for those of us who don't cook), Mom was playing Michael Buble. He sings an absolutely beautiful cover of "You Were Always on My Mind" most famously sung by Elvis Presley and also Willie Nelson. Here is my (condensed) train of thought:
What a beautiful voice! Wait a minute! He didn't do x, y, and z* but he was purportedly always thinking of her? Just thinking of her doesn't cut it. This is a cover-up for being a jerk and a user! And now he wants to get back together with her? Don't fall for it! (Call out to Mom that this beautiful song is actually about a jerk who wants "one more chance." Then he croons once more "Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died. Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied.")
Okay, well maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe he really did try but he wasn't perfect and he just didn't know how to help her. Maybe she didn't TELL him that she was lonely so often. Maybe she hid that she needed him and he was actually crazy about her but messed up a lot. Ouch.
Why do I feel that I need to analyze these lyrics and come to a conclusion about the motives of this fictional ex? Why do I think I am required to give him a fair trial and figure this out? Why can't I stop thinking? Maybe I'm crazy. Do other people think like this? I'm inclined to think not. Maybe they should! Maybe THEY are crazy! Maybe they shouldn't just let these subliminal messages bombard them!
Enough is enough. I miss Donovan. I am going to pick up the pizza.
*Verse two that caught my attention:
Maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times,
And I guess I never told you, I'm so happy that you're mine,
If I made you feel second best,
I'm sorry, I was blind.
And I guess I never told you, I'm so happy that you're mine,
If I made you feel second best,
I'm sorry, I was blind.
November 24, 2010
More decor pt. 2
Yellow table, blue chairs, gray textured walls.
Window seat!
Painted ceiling, grid of pictures, legs on chairs, huge window
Wall papered closet doors, clear chairWhat then shall we say to these things?
If God is for us, who can be against us?
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Shall tribulation or distress or persecution, or famine,
or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors
though Him who loved us.
Romans 8:31, 35, 37
November 23, 2010
Life at home
Me: (Literally singing Shrimp's praises)
Emily: If you love your children half as much as you love your cat, you won't have any problems.
Me: (Listing the deaths, health problems, and accidents that have been happening weekly among our family and friends)
Pop: Welcome to my life. You realize this has been happening for years only you were too young for me to tell you most of it. (*Slight exaggeration)
Me: (Standing with a pained expression watching Mom's silly Fred MacMurry and Marion O'Hara sports/family feel good film)
Mom: Yes, this is what I have come to.
Me: (While correcting Beth's paper) Beth, you can't put "un-moral." There is no such thing! It's "immoral."
Beth: Heh heh.
Jeremy: (via text) You are a snee.
Emily: If you love your children half as much as you love your cat, you won't have any problems.
Me: (Listing the deaths, health problems, and accidents that have been happening weekly among our family and friends)
Pop: Welcome to my life. You realize this has been happening for years only you were too young for me to tell you most of it. (*Slight exaggeration)
Me: (Standing with a pained expression watching Mom's silly Fred MacMurry and Marion O'Hara sports/family feel good film)
Mom: Yes, this is what I have come to.
Me: (While correcting Beth's paper) Beth, you can't put "un-moral." There is no such thing! It's "immoral."
Beth: Heh heh.
Jeremy: (via text) You are a snee.
November 18, 2010
Overwhelmed?
When Googling the preceding verses to post, I noticed that a sermon by Britt Marrick was one of the suggestions. He is the pastor of Reality church in Carpenteria, and our county has been praying for his young daughter, Daisy, for the past year since she was diagnosed with leukemia. Actually, I have not listened to the sermon; my heart is too heavy tonight to intake more. However, I did read some of the comments posted on the church's website, and two of them really moved me:
Comment by Silvia Barrios — September 28, 2009 @ 9:29 am
Pastor Britt Merrick,
My family and I are praying for your precious Daisy and your family.
I have been extremely encouraged by your message. The privlege we have to hold our kids…even as short as just a few weeks in our wombs is a privlage that may bring pain, but I know we can never ever wish that they would have not been given to us. We are thankful for the time we have with them.
I believe like you that hope in Him does not disappoint… it does not….I believe it with ALL my heart.
The Lord has taught me to have faith not that all will go well, but faith that all is His will for me and it IS well. Faith to trust Him.
When I prayed and had all the faith I could force my self to believe…and I still miscarried…I couldn’t understand…then God gently taught me my faith was in the wrong place…it was that God would do my will…not that His will was good for me.
Thank you for sharing I have forward this message to many.
Lifting Daisy and your family in prayer.
Barrios Family
Comment by Thomas Ensign — September 30, 2009 @ 8:36 pm
Dear Merricks,
Thank you for your message.
We are four years ahead of you in our journey with cancer. Our son James was diagnosed with leukemia four years ago this week. By His grace and mercy, God has blessed us with recovery and a good prognosis.
Thank you for your vulnerability in your message. We know what that day is like when you learn that your child has cancer and life as you’ve known it is forever changed — not ruined, but changed.
Thank you for your boldness in proclaiming the goodness of God. Like you, we quickly came to the conclusion that the Creator of the Universe knew that we would meet, marry, have James and that he’d have leukemia. Although the future is uncertain, we know that God is good and that should He choose to allow James to die, it would be to accomplish His good purposes in the lives of others and to bring glory to Himself. We know that, when understood through the lens of eternity, we will say, “Wow, God! Look at what you’ve accomplished! Only you could have done this.”
During our most difficult days of intense chemotherapy, people would say to us, “Your faith is incredible,” or “I could never look at it that way.” But as you said, our faith is not in doctors or medicine or in “faith”, but in God and His word. Faith and hope in him is the natural outcome when you understand His sovereignty and goodness. Besides, as Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, you have the words of life. To whom should we go?” (John 6:68) Truly, where else could we go?
You’re right to avoid the question “Why?”. The Lord impressed on us early on that the question is “What?”. What, Lord, are you trying to accomplish through this? What, Lord, do you want us to do? What, Lord, do you want us to say to others who are suffering? What, Lord, do you want us to say to testify to your grace and goodness?
While our family currently lives with the good news of a positive prognosis, we’ve been forced to contemplate the possibility that James may precede us to be with the Father. Your message says everything that we would want to be said, should that day ever come.
Thank you again, Britt, for the blessing that your message and witness has been for us and for the glory you are bringing to our Father. Your family has a race in front of you, and a cloud of witnesses is cheering you on — and the Father is saying, “Well done. Keep going. Well done. Keep going.”
We will be praying for your precious daughter and for the rest of your family. May God pour out a tsunami of grace, mercy and peace upon each of you. May He grant full and complete healing for Daisy, and may He make you abundantly aware of His presence with you during this difficult, troublesome, heartbreaking time.
With love and prayers,
Thomas, Anna, Daniel, James and Peter
Katie here again. Jeremy just started playing "Beautiful Lord" once again. I think God has a sense of humor: "When the storm is raging all around me, You are the peace that calms my troubled sea."
This month
Psalm 61 (New King James Version)
To the Chief Musician. On a stringed instrument.[a]A Psalm of David.
1 Hear my cry, O God;
Attend to my prayer.
2 From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
3 For You have been a shelter for me,
A strong tower from the enemy.
4 I will abide in Your tabernacle forever;
I will trust in the shelter of Your wings. Selah
5 For You, O God, have heard my vows;
You have given me the heritage of those who fear Your name.
6 You will prolong the king’s life,
His years as many generations.
7 He shall abide before God forever.
Oh, prepare mercy and truth, which may preserve him!
8 So I will sing praise to Your name forever,
That I may daily perform my vows.
To the Chief Musician. On a stringed instrument.[a]A Psalm of David.
1 Hear my cry, O God;
Attend to my prayer.
2 From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
3 For You have been a shelter for me,
A strong tower from the enemy.
4 I will abide in Your tabernacle forever;
I will trust in the shelter of Your wings. Selah
5 For You, O God, have heard my vows;
You have given me the heritage of those who fear Your name.
6 You will prolong the king’s life,
His years as many generations.
7 He shall abide before God forever.
Oh, prepare mercy and truth, which may preserve him!
8 So I will sing praise to Your name forever,
That I may daily perform my vows.
November 17, 2010
Sonnet 116
I thought this find was cool. It's a paraphrase of my favorite Shakespeare sonnet (and one of the only poems I have memorized).
| SONNET 116 | PARAPHRASE | |
| Let me not to the marriage of true minds | Let me not declare any reasons why two | |
| Admit impediments. Love is not love | True-minded people should not be married. Love is not love | |
| Which alters when it alteration finds, | Which changes when it finds a change in circumstances, | |
| Or bends with the remover to remove: | Or bends from its firm stand even when a lover is unfaithful: | |
| O no! it is an ever-fixed mark | Oh no! it is a lighthouse | |
| That looks on tempests and is never shaken; | That sees storms but it never shaken; | |
| It is the star to every wandering bark, | Love is the guiding north star to every lost ship, | |
| Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. | Whose value cannot be calculated, although its altitude can be measured. | |
| Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks | Love is not at the mercy of Time, though physical beauty | |
| Within his bending sickle's compass come: | Comes within the compass of his sickle. | |
| Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, | Love does not alter with hours and weeks, | |
| But bears it out even to the edge of doom. | But, rather, it endures until the last day of life. | |
| If this be error and upon me proved, | If I am proved wrong about these thoughts on love | |
| I never writ, nor no man ever loved. | Then I recant all that I have written, and no man has ever [truly] loved. |
November 16, 2010
Things I Like
"You give us Your best for what we thought was better. And You are to be praised." ("Mended" by Watermark)
Things I Like:
Forgiveness
Candles
Vintage clothes
House Beautiful
Autumn
Trader Joe's
Rum nougat from See's Candy
Planning
"The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michelson
Getting rid of things
Free clothes
The word "persnickety"
When people tell me they were thinking of me
Letters
The sound of rain
When gas dips below $3.00
Clean sheets
Things I Like:
Forgiveness
Candles
Vintage clothes
House Beautiful
Autumn
Trader Joe's
Rum nougat from See's Candy
Planning
"The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michelson
Getting rid of things
Free clothes
The word "persnickety"
When people tell me they were thinking of me
Letters
The sound of rain
When gas dips below $3.00
Clean sheets
November 15, 2010
More decor
Awesome wallpaper
Inside of door painted
Giant picture, natural light
Comfy chair, books, natural light18 And I said, “My strength and my hope
Have perished from the LORD.”
19 Remember my affliction and roaming,
The wormwood and the gall.
20 My soul still remembers
And sinks within me.
21 This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
22 Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3
November 14, 2010
Thank You, God
Dear God,
Thank You for not expecting me to be perfect except as much as You enable me to be conformed to the image of Your Son.
Thank You for loving me so well.
Thank You for always being the initiator in our relationship.
Thank You for giving me strength when I am weary.
Thank You for Your word and that I can trust Your promises.
Thank You for providing for me.
Thank You for fashioning me the way You did.
Thank You for grace.
Thank You for listening to so many prayers about my needs and wants.
Thank You for being my Abba Father and for caring for me so deeply.
Thank You for being You!
Amen
Thank You for not expecting me to be perfect except as much as You enable me to be conformed to the image of Your Son.
Thank You for loving me so well.
Thank You for always being the initiator in our relationship.
Thank You for giving me strength when I am weary.
Thank You for Your word and that I can trust Your promises.
Thank You for providing for me.
Thank You for fashioning me the way You did.
Thank You for grace.
Thank You for listening to so many prayers about my needs and wants.
Thank You for being my Abba Father and for caring for me so deeply.
Thank You for being You!
Amen
November 12, 2010
Simple, Suffering, Sin, Separated, Siblings, Song
Hello dear friends.
So much on my mind today, as every day. There are few settings in which I can manage to empty my mind, particularly these days. Here are some thoughts from today:
To paraphrase Renee, the inspiration for To Write Love on Her Arms, just because something is simple does not mean that it is easy. Love God and love people. Simple, yes? Trust God and choose truth over lies. Another simple pairing.
While at data entry listened to a lyric from MercyMe that said, "Why write the script with so much heartache and pain? Could there not have been an easier way?" Gosh, I think this often when I hear people's stories. I know that suffering is meant to draw people to God, to sanctify. It is also an inevitable consequence of our depravity. Consider how much Christ had to suffer on our behalf. Still, even though I marvel at God's grace in keeping people safe (for example, with the way people drive, there should be many more car accidents), I ask Him why He does not do more. Yes, I know He sent His Son to save the world, but couldn't He put force fields around children, for example?
So when I heard this lyric, my mind started going down this old train of thought: life is full of pain! Even with free will, why does God allow the innocent to suffer to such a great extent? And a soft voice reminded me that sin is sin. Every time I chose my way over God's, the world is not as it should be. I cause pain. Sometimes innocent people suffer. Being rude to my mother is a far cry from chopping off people's limbs or molesting a child. Yet, it is the same root of selfishness and pride claiming that what I want is more important than what God wants. Gosh. I still want God to intervene and stop humanitarian tragedies, but this was another reminder that my role is not to save the world. It is to choose God.
Also during data entry (which weirdly enough tends to be an emotional time), I listened to some sermons on 1 Thessalonians by Alistair Beggs that Aimee lent me. He talked about Paul's longing to visit the church in Thessalonica. After lack of word from the church, Paul sacrificed the presence of Timothy in Athens "when we could no longer endure it"and sent Timothy to find out how they were doing. According to Alistair Beggs (one just has to have the pleasure of saying his whole name), "It's one thing to be separated by your loved ones by a vast distance and over a period of time so long as there is information filtering in. But when you're a long way away for a long period of time getting no news at all, you will be filled--if there is any love relationship there--with simply an intense longing. ... Separated from those who we love by distance and by time, lacking in immediate news, the only right response is unbearable suspense." Gee, it was kind of him to validate my experience, but couldn't he have recommended a cure other than sending Timothy?
Of all my siblings, I think I am the most even blend of our parents. (We may have more insight as Jeremy matures.) Isn't this interesting, as I am the oldest? Should my parents have not had anymore children, they still would have had a pretty good idea of a mini Jamey + Lynne. One of the cool things about having five million children would be to see all the variations.
This is a fun song I listened to today, though it gets annoying after awhile. You have my permission to skip to 3.43 for the good part.
So much on my mind today, as every day. There are few settings in which I can manage to empty my mind, particularly these days. Here are some thoughts from today:
To paraphrase Renee, the inspiration for To Write Love on Her Arms, just because something is simple does not mean that it is easy. Love God and love people. Simple, yes? Trust God and choose truth over lies. Another simple pairing.
While at data entry listened to a lyric from MercyMe that said, "Why write the script with so much heartache and pain? Could there not have been an easier way?" Gosh, I think this often when I hear people's stories. I know that suffering is meant to draw people to God, to sanctify. It is also an inevitable consequence of our depravity. Consider how much Christ had to suffer on our behalf. Still, even though I marvel at God's grace in keeping people safe (for example, with the way people drive, there should be many more car accidents), I ask Him why He does not do more. Yes, I know He sent His Son to save the world, but couldn't He put force fields around children, for example?
So when I heard this lyric, my mind started going down this old train of thought: life is full of pain! Even with free will, why does God allow the innocent to suffer to such a great extent? And a soft voice reminded me that sin is sin. Every time I chose my way over God's, the world is not as it should be. I cause pain. Sometimes innocent people suffer. Being rude to my mother is a far cry from chopping off people's limbs or molesting a child. Yet, it is the same root of selfishness and pride claiming that what I want is more important than what God wants. Gosh. I still want God to intervene and stop humanitarian tragedies, but this was another reminder that my role is not to save the world. It is to choose God.
Also during data entry (which weirdly enough tends to be an emotional time), I listened to some sermons on 1 Thessalonians by Alistair Beggs that Aimee lent me. He talked about Paul's longing to visit the church in Thessalonica. After lack of word from the church, Paul sacrificed the presence of Timothy in Athens "when we could no longer endure it"and sent Timothy to find out how they were doing. According to Alistair Beggs (one just has to have the pleasure of saying his whole name), "It's one thing to be separated by your loved ones by a vast distance and over a period of time so long as there is information filtering in. But when you're a long way away for a long period of time getting no news at all, you will be filled--if there is any love relationship there--with simply an intense longing. ... Separated from those who we love by distance and by time, lacking in immediate news, the only right response is unbearable suspense." Gee, it was kind of him to validate my experience, but couldn't he have recommended a cure other than sending Timothy?
Of all my siblings, I think I am the most even blend of our parents. (We may have more insight as Jeremy matures.) Isn't this interesting, as I am the oldest? Should my parents have not had anymore children, they still would have had a pretty good idea of a mini Jamey + Lynne. One of the cool things about having five million children would be to see all the variations.
This is a fun song I listened to today, though it gets annoying after awhile. You have my permission to skip to 3.43 for the good part.
November 8, 2010
Yesterday I...
...ate yummy turkey at a church "potblessing."
...read and ruminated.
...straightened my hair, since it had been 2 years and 1 weeks since the last occurrence.
...sang hymns with my parents and Beth at the convalescent home.
...conversed with Deanna at Starbucks until the Sketcher settled into his corner and started his hobby. Uncomfortable, but not creepy.
...ate Thai food leftovers. I love bamboo shoots!
...research Masters in Public Administration and dreamed of receiving a Fulbright scholarship.
November 7, 2010
As part of my day of rest
Yellow sink and gray/blue walls. Mirror. Hurricane lamps.
Birds cut from contact paper in church hallway, compliments of pastor's wife.
Green cabinets. Little corner shelf with glass. Wallpapered ceiling (minus the design)
Mismatched black chairs. Green bowl.Hi friends! Much has been percolating in this overactive brain of mine, but today I bring you contributions from others. First, some pictures I have culled from design blogs. Their titles represent why I have saved them. I know you're supposed to credit the source, but I never intended to republish, so I have to apologize for that. Second, some interesting thoughts about the relativity of wealth from this blog called "Out of Poverty: What to do when traditional approaches fail."
24 “The LORD bless you and keep you;
25 The LORD make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
26 The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”’
Numbers 6:24-26
November 2, 2010
November 1, 2010
Today's Encouragement
Consider what great things He has done for you.
You shall remember that the Lord your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. You should know in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so the Lord your God chastens you.
I know, O Lord, that Your judgments are right, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me. It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn your statutes. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word. * The Lord has chastened me severely, but He has not given me over to death. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy towards those who fear Him. He knows our frame. He remembers that we are dust.
1 Samuel 12:24; Deut. 8:2, 5; Psalm 119:75, 71, 67; Psalm 118:8; Psalm 103:10-11, 14
You shall remember that the Lord your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. You should know in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so the Lord your God chastens you.
I know, O Lord, that Your judgments are right, and that in faithfulness you have afflicted me. It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn your statutes. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word. * The Lord has chastened me severely, but He has not given me over to death. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy towards those who fear Him. He knows our frame. He remembers that we are dust.
1 Samuel 12:24; Deut. 8:2, 5; Psalm 119:75, 71, 67; Psalm 118:8; Psalm 103:10-11, 14
October 29, 2010
Pledging of the Troth
So, I feel terrible because I don't remember who wrote this, but I know that it was from this blog by the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. I find the genders fascinating, so I've added this blog to my lists. BTW, I am not yet convinced that women's "God-ordained role" is "in the home" and that if you have children and still work it makes you one of the "women who abandon their children on the altar of their career or before the idol of self." (Kay Arthur) But she's not the author of the post I'm sharing! I found this amazing segment saved in my email drafts:
This pledging of troth comes to characterize the whole marriage relationship. "Mutual dependence and trust allow husband and wife to be genuine and real with each other. Each can be accepted and loved for what he is. A wife need not compete with other women for her husband's love and affection: she has it. Her husband has sworn a bond of lifelong troth to her to which God is the witness. Neither does the husband have to compete with other men for his wife's continued affection. Both of them settled that matter when they married. That is the very meaning of marriage: both partners count on the other's fidelity."
This pledging of troth comes to characterize the whole marriage relationship. "Mutual dependence and trust allow husband and wife to be genuine and real with each other. Each can be accepted and loved for what he is. A wife need not compete with other women for her husband's love and affection: she has it. Her husband has sworn a bond of lifelong troth to her to which God is the witness. Neither does the husband have to compete with other men for his wife's continued affection. Both of them settled that matter when they married. That is the very meaning of marriage: both partners count on the other's fidelity."
It's a call to us men
- that we should take the risk of getting egg on our faces;
- that we should pray like we've never prayed for help in this tremendous responsibility;
- that we should be in the word more than we ever have been to know what God expects of us;
- that we should plan things more than we do, and be intentional and thoughtful and less carried along by the mood of the moment;
- that we should be disciplined and ordered in our lives;
- that we should be tender-hearted and sensitive;
- that we should take the initiative to make sure that there is a time and a place to talk to her about what needs to be talked about - this "her" could be a friend, a date, a colleague, a wife, a sister;
- that we should be ready to lay down our lives in discharging this responsibility to be the leaders God is calling us to be.
October 28, 2010
Today's Encouragement
I said in my haste, "I am cut off from before Your eyes"; nevertheless You heard the voice of my supplications when I cried out to You.
I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing; I have come into deep waters where the floods overflow me. * Waters flowed over my head; I said, "I am cut off!" I called on Your name, O Lord, from the lowest pit. You have heard my voice: "Do not hide Your ear from my sighing, from my cry for help." You drew near on the day I called on You, and said, "Do not fear!" * Will the Lord cast off forever? And will He be favorable no more? Has His mercy ceased forever? Has His promise failed forevermore? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies? And I said, "This is my anguish; but I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High." I will remember the works of the Lord; surely I will remember Your wonders of old. * I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. * He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him.
Ps. 31:22; Ps. 69:2; Lam. 3:54-57; Ps. 77:7-11; Ps. 27:13; Ps. 91:5
I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing; I have come into deep waters where the floods overflow me. * Waters flowed over my head; I said, "I am cut off!" I called on Your name, O Lord, from the lowest pit. You have heard my voice: "Do not hide Your ear from my sighing, from my cry for help." You drew near on the day I called on You, and said, "Do not fear!" * Will the Lord cast off forever? And will He be favorable no more? Has His mercy ceased forever? Has His promise failed forevermore? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies? And I said, "This is my anguish; but I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High." I will remember the works of the Lord; surely I will remember Your wonders of old. * I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. * He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him.
Ps. 31:22; Ps. 69:2; Lam. 3:54-57; Ps. 77:7-11; Ps. 27:13; Ps. 91:5
October 25, 2010
I caught the boomerang!
All right friends. The time has come for a moment of epicness. It just so happens that on Wednesday, October 13, my friend Aimee and I went to the ... wait for it ... 50% off sale at Goodwill in Fillmore at which I scored my best haul yet.
Ahem.
I purchased:
2 jackets for me (including one beautiful black and white coat from Express!)
1 shirt for me
1 shirt for Beth
1 shirt to sell to Buffalo Exchange
1 sweater for me
1 comfy wrap dress for me
1 pair of dress pants for me for a hypothetical job
1 jacket/shirt for me for a hypothetical job
1 jacket for Emily
2 sweaters for Emily
1 pair of shorts (brand-new from Target) for me
1 belt for me
1 skirt for me
1 sweater for Beth
1 package of unopened tissue paper
3 new Beanie Babies for Operation Christmas Child
= 16 articles of clothing and 1 package of tissue paper and 3 Beanie Babies
Guess how much?
a.) 31.95
b.) 37.25
c.) 42.45
d.) 49.05
I just have to say that the day before this tremendous score, I was wandering around Express in Valencia because I had a coupon and Jeremy had a birthday and Express was having a sale (such a happy merging of circumstances). I was looking at all their beautiful jackets that cost $100-$200 and thinking I would never buy one unless I found one at a thrift store--and the odds of that were higher than me actually catching a boomerang that someone threw at me from across the street. Lo and behold, the very next day, one appeared in my size for $3.00! It was only missing one button, which was soon remedied. God surely spoils us sometimes. Ah, so did you guess the grand total? It's answer "b." Hum and I did the math; each article of clothing cost an average of just over $2.00. It was a good day!
Ahem.
I purchased:
2 jackets for me (including one beautiful black and white coat from Express!)
1 shirt for me
1 shirt for Beth
1 shirt to sell to Buffalo Exchange
1 sweater for me
1 comfy wrap dress for me
1 pair of dress pants for me for a hypothetical job
1 jacket/shirt for me for a hypothetical job
1 jacket for Emily
2 sweaters for Emily
1 pair of shorts (brand-new from Target) for me
1 belt for me
1 skirt for me
1 sweater for Beth
1 package of unopened tissue paper
3 new Beanie Babies for Operation Christmas Child
= 16 articles of clothing and 1 package of tissue paper and 3 Beanie Babies
Guess how much?
a.) 31.95
b.) 37.25
c.) 42.45
d.) 49.05
I just have to say that the day before this tremendous score, I was wandering around Express in Valencia because I had a coupon and Jeremy had a birthday and Express was having a sale (such a happy merging of circumstances). I was looking at all their beautiful jackets that cost $100-$200 and thinking I would never buy one unless I found one at a thrift store--and the odds of that were higher than me actually catching a boomerang that someone threw at me from across the street. Lo and behold, the very next day, one appeared in my size for $3.00! It was only missing one button, which was soon remedied. God surely spoils us sometimes. Ah, so did you guess the grand total? It's answer "b." Hum and I did the math; each article of clothing cost an average of just over $2.00. It was a good day!
October 24, 2010
Mercy and random thoughts
This evening, a few minutes ago, I knew the feeling I wanted to describe in this post but was unsure of how to articulate it. Moreover, I was concerned that this blog has been too much of a downer of late, although I am trying to give God the glory in the midst of (to put it poetically) storms and wilderness. So I began scrolling through past entries to review my recent sharing. Exactly to the second as I begin reading the lyrics from "Beautiful Lord," Jeremy began strumming his guitar in the next room and singing, "When the storm is raging all around me, You are the peace that calms my troubled sea." And so on and so forth. So, of course, I start crying because God is quite good and the moment is an example of the second verse: "When my weakness is all I can give, Your gentle Spirit gives me strength again." This is how I feel most days. I do my thing: tutor, data entry, take the SAT, clean my room, talk to friends, think too much, make birthday cards, finish buying Christmas presents, put together shoeboxes for OCC, write letters, read about humanitarian crises, play Boggle, etc. (Working only part-time and still don't get around to watching many movies.)And I do my thing despite varying degrees of weariness and brokenness. It's quite a beautiful thing, actually. I don't enjoy it, but it's quite extraordinary (literally). Pop always says some of the most profound prayers are "Help, Lord!" I concur.
Here are some of my random thoughts from today:
Will the New Earth look like the Old One? If so, pre- or post-Pangea?
From the viewpoint of babies, tear-free shampoo has to be one of the best inventions. (I mean, they don't really care about disposable diapers or bottles or cute outfits.)
The passage-based reading sections of the SAT are the meanest.
How does the Oreo company mold the cookies?
Why does cats' hair stop growing at such a short length relative to humans' head hair?
Here are some of my random thoughts from today:
Will the New Earth look like the Old One? If so, pre- or post-Pangea?
From the viewpoint of babies, tear-free shampoo has to be one of the best inventions. (I mean, they don't really care about disposable diapers or bottles or cute outfits.)
The passage-based reading sections of the SAT are the meanest.
How does the Oreo company mold the cookies?
Why does cats' hair stop growing at such a short length relative to humans' head hair?
October 21, 2010
"You know what we're supposed to say and what we're not supposed to say."
I am reading a book about how our love languages were created by God and how we connect to God through our love languages. This little girl is obviously words of affirmation. Her parents must pray often. As a words of affirmation lover myself, I find I often connect to God by repeating His truths back to Him.
October 19, 2010
October 18, 2010
Beautiful Lord
When the storm is raging all around me
You are the peace that calms
My troubled sea
And when the cares of this world
Darken my day
You are the light that shines
And shows me the way
Oh, the beauty of Your majesty
On the cross You showed Your love for me!
Beautiful Lord
Awesome and mighty
I'm captured by this love I see
Beautiful Lord
Tender and holy
Your mercy brings me to my knees
It's Your mercy that has made me free
Beautiful Lord
When my sin is all that I can see
Your grace remains the shelter that I seek
And when my weakness is all I can give
Your gentle Spirit gives me strength again
And oh, the beauty of Your majesty
On the cross You showed Your love for me
And I am lifted by Your love to sing!
It's Your mercy that has made me free!
You're beautiful, my Lord
You're beautiful, my Lord
October 16, 2010
I am thankful for...
Autumn
My Sudoku book from DollarTree
Getting mail today
Forgiveness
Many uplifting texts from friends
Our church service at the convalescent home
My health
Getting paid on Friday
Living in an age of instant communication
Washers and dryers
Psalms 42
My Sudoku book from DollarTree
Getting mail today
Forgiveness
Many uplifting texts from friends
Our church service at the convalescent home
My health
Getting paid on Friday
Living in an age of instant communication
Washers and dryers
Psalms 42
On being vulnerable
Since high school, God has continued to teach me about humility, and it has been transforming. I remember reading Philippians 2 a few years ago and being astounded that Jesus humbled Himself. The beauty of humility is that it is a focus on the supremacy of God rather than the depravity of man. The focus MUST be on God.
Over the past two years, I began experiencing being vulnerable. This is not something I have heard taught much either by my parents or church leaders. It has been strange to navigate, and I tried to figure it out as I went along. I've been taught to sacrificially love people but also take care of myself. Vulnerability is surrendering my self-interests in a way that leaves me exposed to danger. Honestly, I have not tried to define this until tonight. I've thought much about agape love, about putting other people first regardless of the cost to self. I'm not sure what makes vulnerability different. Perhaps it is love with more to lose?
In any case, tonight I was thinking of how vulnerability stemming from humility is beautifully strong. Surrendering my "rights" and my desires and leaving myself open to risk requires an identity grounded in God's sovereign love. It requires trust that God will take care of me and a commitment to emulating God's character rather than protecting myself. After all, God became man knowing that He would be rejected, scorned, and put to death. Yet, He offers perfect love to all.
For me, vulnerability is still hard. I haven't had too many opportunities to practice it. (Please keep in mind that I am not recommending a complete abandonment of caution or self-care. Use wisdom!) Yet, there is also joy and peace in choosing it. I know that God has chosen me. He is my everlasting Father. He will take care of me. When people hurt me, He remains. When I make mistakes and hurt myself and others, He remains. He is worth these earthly troubles, and choosing His character is certainly worth the risk of hurt.
One last thought, being vulnerable is also tied into choosing to live without fear. I think it was April or May that I realized how much fear was controlling me. This frightened me in a good way back to goodness and mercy. The Bible says (somewhere it is written, 1 John 3 or 4, I think) that perfect love casts out fear. Anyway, the point is don't choose vulnerability and then sit cowering, waiting for the blow. Instead, choose to love God and love people because love is much stronger than fear. So, choose love over fear. Choose vulnerability over self-preservation. God is the only one who can take care of you anyway. Let go of those illusions of control.
Friends, I am in a season that is meant to be hard. Long story short, I have struggled with this, thinking that nothing in my life should qualify for that adjective in light of other people's far greater afflictions. God has reminded me that my life is the life of Katherine Lynne Brooks. He has designed me with a plan and a purpose, and right now He is teaching me to trust Him and to be humble and vulnerable even when it seems foolish. Again, He is worth it. This is a wonderfully difficult time.
Over the past two years, I began experiencing being vulnerable. This is not something I have heard taught much either by my parents or church leaders. It has been strange to navigate, and I tried to figure it out as I went along. I've been taught to sacrificially love people but also take care of myself. Vulnerability is surrendering my self-interests in a way that leaves me exposed to danger. Honestly, I have not tried to define this until tonight. I've thought much about agape love, about putting other people first regardless of the cost to self. I'm not sure what makes vulnerability different. Perhaps it is love with more to lose?
In any case, tonight I was thinking of how vulnerability stemming from humility is beautifully strong. Surrendering my "rights" and my desires and leaving myself open to risk requires an identity grounded in God's sovereign love. It requires trust that God will take care of me and a commitment to emulating God's character rather than protecting myself. After all, God became man knowing that He would be rejected, scorned, and put to death. Yet, He offers perfect love to all.
For me, vulnerability is still hard. I haven't had too many opportunities to practice it. (Please keep in mind that I am not recommending a complete abandonment of caution or self-care. Use wisdom!) Yet, there is also joy and peace in choosing it. I know that God has chosen me. He is my everlasting Father. He will take care of me. When people hurt me, He remains. When I make mistakes and hurt myself and others, He remains. He is worth these earthly troubles, and choosing His character is certainly worth the risk of hurt.
One last thought, being vulnerable is also tied into choosing to live without fear. I think it was April or May that I realized how much fear was controlling me. This frightened me in a good way back to goodness and mercy. The Bible says (somewhere it is written, 1 John 3 or 4, I think) that perfect love casts out fear. Anyway, the point is don't choose vulnerability and then sit cowering, waiting for the blow. Instead, choose to love God and love people because love is much stronger than fear. So, choose love over fear. Choose vulnerability over self-preservation. God is the only one who can take care of you anyway. Let go of those illusions of control.
Friends, I am in a season that is meant to be hard. Long story short, I have struggled with this, thinking that nothing in my life should qualify for that adjective in light of other people's far greater afflictions. God has reminded me that my life is the life of Katherine Lynne Brooks. He has designed me with a plan and a purpose, and right now He is teaching me to trust Him and to be humble and vulnerable even when it seems foolish. Again, He is worth it. This is a wonderfully difficult time.
October 15, 2010
Beauty is as beauty does.
Here is an example of culture dictating beauty. Women in Mauritania are traditionally fattened to look more beautiful. As much as I struggle against it, I know that our culture's images continue to influence my perception of feminine beauty. As with most problems, I think the cure here is to pray for a Godly perspective.
Recent Questions
I live primarily in the future, using the past as a guide. Oftentimes, it is hard for me to enjoy the moment. This season is teaching me to live more in the present. Does your brain gravitate to the past, present, or future?
Are men more depraved than women? (I think not, yet they seem to commit more crimes.)
How does God view people with developmental disabilities? If our world was not broken, would there still be people with developmental disabilities?
In heaven, will we still be distracted from God? If not, I think this would be one of the greatest joys of heaven. I am realizing more and more how easily distracted I am from spending time with God. It reminds me of the famous C.S. Lewis quote: Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.
On earth, God grows us through trials. What will be the system of growth in heaven?
How can God stand to let humans be so cruel to one another?
What does God expect of me? (This one is more of a reminder, as I know that He wants me to love Him and love people.)
Are men more depraved than women? (I think not, yet they seem to commit more crimes.)
How does God view people with developmental disabilities? If our world was not broken, would there still be people with developmental disabilities?
In heaven, will we still be distracted from God? If not, I think this would be one of the greatest joys of heaven. I am realizing more and more how easily distracted I am from spending time with God. It reminds me of the famous C.S. Lewis quote: Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.
On earth, God grows us through trials. What will be the system of growth in heaven?
How can God stand to let humans be so cruel to one another?
What does God expect of me? (This one is more of a reminder, as I know that He wants me to love Him and love people.)
October 11, 2010
Check these out.
http://www.joniandfriends.org/jonis-corner/jonis-favorite-quotes/
And if you don't know about Joni Erickson Tada and her ministry, what a great introduction!
And if you don't know about Joni Erickson Tada and her ministry, what a great introduction!
October 10, 2010
This weekend I...
...took the SAT and now am nervous about my math results.
...succumbed to a days-long chocolate craving and gorged on Peppermint Patties.
...heard an awesome song on Pandora called "Mended" by Watermark. Totally worth a dollar on iTunes, people. I love my Ginny Owens station. Carlene is genius!
...watched five Poirot episodes, far exceeding my average media intake for the past several months.
...tried to join a gym with Kate and Aimee, but alas, poor Yorick. It was too expensive.
...narrowly (I repeat, narrowly) beat Jeremy at Boggle two days in a row.
...thanked God for waiting because it's growing me and it's from Him, so I know it's good.
...succumbed to a days-long chocolate craving and gorged on Peppermint Patties.
...heard an awesome song on Pandora called "Mended" by Watermark. Totally worth a dollar on iTunes, people. I love my Ginny Owens station. Carlene is genius!
...watched five Poirot episodes, far exceeding my average media intake for the past several months.
...tried to join a gym with Kate and Aimee, but alas, poor Yorick. It was too expensive.
...narrowly (I repeat, narrowly) beat Jeremy at Boggle two days in a row.
...thanked God for waiting because it's growing me and it's from Him, so I know it's good.
October 8, 2010
Comments on survivors
From Jacqueline Novogratz regarding her visit to Pakistan, site of the recent devastating floods that have displaced 20 million people.
When I was there, a couple things really reminded me of our shared humanity. Clearly, one was looking at the faces of the children and seeing incredible potential, and talking to people like the man who said, “Why would I go back?” He said, in English “I have seven years of education. I want to contribute. I want to be part of this.” I kept thinking, “Would I have this grace? Would I have this ability to interact with someone very privileged if I had been stripped of everything?”
The other piece that really hit me was that when we talk about people who’ve lost all their belongings, we have to contextualize what that means. When you see people who are without, it’s too easy to react with pity. What’s more powerful is that when you see people who’ve lost their belongings, and those belongings consist of three or four blankets and a couple of changes of clothing for an entire family, and you realize that you can put those belongings into your carry-on bag, that’s the really humbling piece. We live in a world in which we’re seeing an increasing gap between the haves and the have-nots. And yet, those without are still thinking about the very same things that any of us would think about in a similar situation: Are my children ok? Can I protect them? Can I feel proud in front of my husband or my wife? When will I get back so that I can send my kids to school? When can we start to get on with our lives?
October 4, 2010
Searching for Pearls
Late this evening as I was perusing blogs about international relief and development work, I came across a blog filled with quotes and verses on the topics of suffering and perseverance. I liked this one:
“The burden of suffering seems to be a tombstone hung around our necks. Yet in reality it is simply the weight necessary to hold the diver down while he is searching for pearls.”
- Julius Richter, Streams in the Desert
Today was a long day.
September 29, 2010
Perfect love casts out fear.
Fear creates a form of spiritual amnesia. It dulls our miracle memory. It makes us forget what Jesus has done and how good God is. (I forget where I obtained this quote.)
18There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4
An excellent reminder for an ongoing struggle. It's amazing how sometimes we do not even recognize fears that are controlling us! We may even use language like "concerned" or "worried." Along these lines, I have also been thinking of Ephesians 6 and the injunction to "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil" with a focus of "take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the fiery darts of the evil one." Yeah, I've felt some fiery darts. Stand strong, friends!
18There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4
An excellent reminder for an ongoing struggle. It's amazing how sometimes we do not even recognize fears that are controlling us! We may even use language like "concerned" or "worried." Along these lines, I have also been thinking of Ephesians 6 and the injunction to "Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil" with a focus of "take up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the fiery darts of the evil one." Yeah, I've felt some fiery darts. Stand strong, friends!
September 27, 2010
There but for the grace of God, go I.
We have got a lot of strong women at our church. They bear a lot of things. They endure pain through marriages and through kids that are disabled…Strong women are magnificent testimonies to Christ because, if they are complementarian, they are combining things the world can’t explain. They are combining a sweet, tender, kind, loving, submissive, feminine beauty with this massive steel in their backs and theology in their brains. ~ John Piper
Gotta love Piper! I think often of gender roles. For example, when given the opportunity to live full life spans, why do women outlive men? Why does it seem that men are more prone to violence and sex crimes? Is it because they are in power? Are women more prone to manipulation? Is that because they are not in power? Or is this state of affairs because men abuse the authority and strength that God has given them? And perhaps women are lusting for power that is not theirs (i.e. manipulation). Why aren't there more female pedophiles? Female gang members? I know that people pervert God's gifts, so I am trying to look at this through a Biblical rather than sociological perspective. For example, women's beauty is intended to allure and invite, and men's strength is meant to pursue and uphold--both in a relational context. Instead, women use their beauty to seduce, and men use their strength to subdue women--both devoid of relationship.
Crimes against humanity and against the individual sicken and horrify me, as they should. We live in an evil world. Just reading one section of the newspaper this morning left me drained, realizing our desperate need for God (articles about a foster care pedophile, rapists and murders, murderous drug cartels, and nuclear weapons build-up). Lately, I have begun thinking more often of occasions when perpetrators are also victims. In the Congo, the government's army (which used to be the "good guys") has begun to perpetrate the same horrific crimes against civilians as the resistance army. They kill men and brutally rape women of all ages. The Congo has been called the worst place in the world to be a woman. Yet, many of the soldiers live desperate lives. Here is a brief story about a young man in the Congo who was forced to be child solider at age 11. He has been in the army for ten years and is still younger than me! The author of the blog post is a young American woman about my age who works with rape victims. She writes of how she wants to hate this young man and others like him for their horrible crimes, but has come to realize that they are victims as well. Obviously, there is a vast difference between this young child who was literally tortured into becoming a soldier and the foster care parent who has been systematically molesting children for two decades. Yes, there is a level of personal responsibility involved in both cases, but we can see the difference without pulling theology or philosophy.
Last night, God reminded me of the story of Saul turned to Paul. Paul is my favorite author in the Bible. His incredible insights, ability with words, and deep love for people moves me. Yet, he was a murderer. He was so blinded by religiosity that he sought out Christians to kill them. It was interesting to me to realize last night that Paul does not write too much about his past. He concentrates on the present and the future, on God's redemption for all of mankind. However, he writes sentences such as: "The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost." 1 Timothy 1:15. People, we should not take this lightly! This is a man talking from deep personal experience about the complete depravity of man without God! I know that we all know "nice" people without God (and you may be one of my many lovely friends who thinks I'm a nut), but I often remind myself: there but for the grace of God go I. I shudder to think what I am capable of in different circumstances.
This blog has been on the heavy side of late, much more on the "musing" end of things. These are topics on which I have cogitated for several years and more so for the last year. Perhaps one reason why I am not yet working in my desired field is that I need to process through some of these things before I can spend even more hours a day trying to help the most desperate people in the world. I need to get my perspectives straight.
Thanks for "listening"! Hope you found something useful.
Gotta love Piper! I think often of gender roles. For example, when given the opportunity to live full life spans, why do women outlive men? Why does it seem that men are more prone to violence and sex crimes? Is it because they are in power? Are women more prone to manipulation? Is that because they are not in power? Or is this state of affairs because men abuse the authority and strength that God has given them? And perhaps women are lusting for power that is not theirs (i.e. manipulation). Why aren't there more female pedophiles? Female gang members? I know that people pervert God's gifts, so I am trying to look at this through a Biblical rather than sociological perspective. For example, women's beauty is intended to allure and invite, and men's strength is meant to pursue and uphold--both in a relational context. Instead, women use their beauty to seduce, and men use their strength to subdue women--both devoid of relationship.
Crimes against humanity and against the individual sicken and horrify me, as they should. We live in an evil world. Just reading one section of the newspaper this morning left me drained, realizing our desperate need for God (articles about a foster care pedophile, rapists and murders, murderous drug cartels, and nuclear weapons build-up). Lately, I have begun thinking more often of occasions when perpetrators are also victims. In the Congo, the government's army (which used to be the "good guys") has begun to perpetrate the same horrific crimes against civilians as the resistance army. They kill men and brutally rape women of all ages. The Congo has been called the worst place in the world to be a woman. Yet, many of the soldiers live desperate lives. Here is a brief story about a young man in the Congo who was forced to be child solider at age 11. He has been in the army for ten years and is still younger than me! The author of the blog post is a young American woman about my age who works with rape victims. She writes of how she wants to hate this young man and others like him for their horrible crimes, but has come to realize that they are victims as well. Obviously, there is a vast difference between this young child who was literally tortured into becoming a soldier and the foster care parent who has been systematically molesting children for two decades. Yes, there is a level of personal responsibility involved in both cases, but we can see the difference without pulling theology or philosophy.
Last night, God reminded me of the story of Saul turned to Paul. Paul is my favorite author in the Bible. His incredible insights, ability with words, and deep love for people moves me. Yet, he was a murderer. He was so blinded by religiosity that he sought out Christians to kill them. It was interesting to me to realize last night that Paul does not write too much about his past. He concentrates on the present and the future, on God's redemption for all of mankind. However, he writes sentences such as: "The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost." 1 Timothy 1:15. People, we should not take this lightly! This is a man talking from deep personal experience about the complete depravity of man without God! I know that we all know "nice" people without God (and you may be one of my many lovely friends who thinks I'm a nut), but I often remind myself: there but for the grace of God go I. I shudder to think what I am capable of in different circumstances.
This blog has been on the heavy side of late, much more on the "musing" end of things. These are topics on which I have cogitated for several years and more so for the last year. Perhaps one reason why I am not yet working in my desired field is that I need to process through some of these things before I can spend even more hours a day trying to help the most desperate people in the world. I need to get my perspectives straight.
Thanks for "listening"! Hope you found something useful.
UN Visual
Evidently only 8% of Americans have heard of the MDG's. Better get a move on--only 5 more years to end world poverty and hunger! To be fair, I really liked the point made by the authors of Half the Sky. They mentioned that the UN programs might do more for the copy paper industry than for the underprivileged. However, in a world fraught with need, their programs are still indispensable. I must keep this in mind when I criticize the UN's aid policies and efficiency.
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