Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
Psalm 61:2

Yes, I know that I have been blogging an awful lot of late. This comes from an abundance of free time and much on my mind. When I took Strengthfinders, my third strength was Input, which rather made me scoff. Yes, I collect information about people all day long, but should Input end up third? Now that I am unemployed yet again and rather at loose ends, I have been reading up on aid blogs. Input strikes again! This blog somewhat serves as an outlet for all that is processing and growing in me.

It is a strength to learn about these justice causes not only for my own education but also so that I can share with others. This is essentially what I want to do for my career. Yet, I do become overwhelmed with the level of tragedy and suffering in the world and my obvious impotence. This is such a part of my life that I have been slow to realize that thinking about universal suffering on a daily basis is not the norm. I struggle with wanting creature comforts (heat, haircut, clothes, plumbing, cleanliness, etc.) when so many people have only the shirts on their backs. Yet, I want to improve people's qualities of lives, not necessarily chastise those of us for whom electricity is the norm. I don't think it's wrong to want clean sheets and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. What is wrong is to prioritize a lifestyle over Christ.

The subject of suffering has been even more on my mind this past month, with the perspective that God wants to use it for sanctification. I was chatting about this with Nick last night, and he reminded me, yes, but what is the end goal of sanctification? It is communion with our perfect, loving, omnipotent, heavenly Father. I must add this part to my sanctification speech! This is our hope and joy.

And so as people I dearly love fail me, as I still choose to be vulnerable, as my heart cries for the women in the Congo, as I am painfully learning patience and trust, as I am physically and emotionally weary, in short, as I am overwhelmed (and today is all of those things) -- I must return to Christ. He is higher and greater than my emotions and thoughts, my successes and failures, my hopes and dreams. I am a broken person, and that is a good place to be, broken before the Lord.

Thanks for your time!