Be loved --> Beloved

Epiphany moment: I've decided to change all my passwords since I've heard you're supposed to do that every few years. Since I type them so often, I was contemplating things that would be good for me to remember often. During this season, God has told me that I am supposed to be learning how to be loved. This was unexpected and almost embarrassing. So I was thinking that perhaps "be loved" would be a good one, and then I realized that if I put it in password form it smushes together to become "beloved." Aaah! Probably everyone else has already figured this out, but all of a sudden I saw this simple demonstration of the relationship between loving and being loved. As in, we love Him because He first loved us. I am God's beloved and am loved regardless of myself. However, how much am I missing out if I am not an active participant, if I am not willing to be loved? Everyone wants to be loved and to be someone's beloved, but God, the origin of love, is the only One who can satisfy is. When we choose to die to ourselves and accept God's love, we are eternally loved and are eternally His beloved.

Good stuff for a Monday night/Tuesday morning. (Why do Bible study leaders always use the phrase "good stuff"?)

You were always on my mind?

As I was eating my cereal tonight (standard fare for those of us who don't cook), Mom was playing Michael Buble. He sings an absolutely beautiful cover of "You Were Always on My Mind" most famously sung by Elvis Presley and also Willie Nelson. Here is my (condensed) train of thought:

What a beautiful voice! Wait a minute! He didn't do x, y, and z* but he was purportedly always thinking of her? Just thinking of her doesn't cut it. This is a cover-up for being a jerk and a user! And now he wants to get back together with her? Don't fall for it! (Call out to Mom that this beautiful song is actually about a jerk who wants "one more chance." Then he croons once more "Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn't died. Give me, give me one more chance to keep you satisfied.")

Okay, well maybe I'm being too harsh. Maybe he really did try but he wasn't perfect and he just didn't know how to help her. Maybe she didn't TELL him that she was lonely so often. Maybe she hid that she needed him and he was actually crazy about her but messed up a lot. Ouch.

Why do I feel that I need to analyze these lyrics and come to a conclusion about the motives of this fictional ex? Why do I think I am required to give him a fair trial and figure this out? Why can't I stop thinking? Maybe I'm crazy. Do other people think like this? I'm inclined to think not. Maybe they should! Maybe THEY are crazy! Maybe they shouldn't just let these subliminal messages bombard them!

Enough is enough. I miss Donovan. I am going to pick up the pizza.

*Verse two that caught my attention:

Maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times,
And I guess I never told you, I'm so happy that you're mine,
If I made you feel second best,
I'm sorry, I was blind.

More decor pt. 2

Yellow table, blue chairs, gray textured walls.

Window seat!

Painted ceiling, grid of pictures, legs on chairs, huge window

Wall papered closet doors, clear chair


What then shall we say to these things?
If God is for us, who can be against us?
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Shall tribulation or distress or persecution, or famine,
or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors
though Him who loved us.
Romans 8:31, 35, 37

Life at home

Me: (Literally singing Shrimp's praises)
Emily: If you love your children half as much as you love your cat, you won't have any problems.

Me: (Listing the deaths, health problems, and accidents that have been happening weekly among our family and friends)
Pop: Welcome to my life. You realize this has been happening for years only you were too young for me to tell you most of it. (*Slight exaggeration)

Me: (Standing with a pained expression watching Mom's silly Fred MacMurry and Marion O'Hara sports/family feel good film)
Mom: Yes, this is what I have come to.

Me: (While correcting Beth's paper) Beth, you can't put "un-moral." There is no such thing! It's "immoral."
Beth: Heh heh.

Jeremy: (via text) You are a snee.

Overwhelmed?

When Googling the preceding verses to post, I noticed that a sermon by Britt Marrick was one of the suggestions. He is the pastor of Reality church in Carpenteria, and our county has been praying for his young daughter, Daisy, for the past year since she was diagnosed with leukemia. Actually, I have not listened to the sermon; my heart is too heavy tonight to intake more. However, I did read some of the comments posted on the church's website, and two of them really moved me:

Comment by Silvia Barrios — September 28, 2009 @ 9:29 am

Pastor Britt Merrick,
My family and I are praying for your precious Daisy and your family.
I have been extremely encouraged by your message. The privlege we have to hold our kids…even as short as just a few weeks in our wombs is a privlage that may bring pain, but I know we can never ever wish that they would have not been given to us. We are thankful for the time we have with them.
I believe like you that hope in Him does not disappoint… it does not….I believe it with ALL my heart.
The Lord has taught me to have faith not that all will go well, but faith that all is His will for me and it IS well. Faith to trust Him.
When I prayed and had all the faith I could force my self to believe…and I still miscarried…I couldn’t understand…then God gently taught me my faith was in the wrong place…it was that God would do my will…not that His will was good for me.
Thank you for sharing I have forward this message to many.

Lifting Daisy and your family in prayer.

Barrios Family

Comment by Thomas Ensign — September 30, 2009 @ 8:36 pm

Dear Merricks,

Thank you for your message.

We are four years ahead of you in our journey with cancer. Our son James was diagnosed with leukemia four years ago this week. By His grace and mercy, God has blessed us with recovery and a good prognosis.

Thank you for your vulnerability in your message. We know what that day is like when you learn that your child has cancer and life as you’ve known it is forever changed — not ruined, but changed.

Thank you for your boldness in proclaiming the goodness of God. Like you, we quickly came to the conclusion that the Creator of the Universe knew that we would meet, marry, have James and that he’d have leukemia. Although the future is uncertain, we know that God is good and that should He choose to allow James to die, it would be to accomplish His good purposes in the lives of others and to bring glory to Himself. We know that, when understood through the lens of eternity, we will say, “Wow, God! Look at what you’ve accomplished! Only you could have done this.”

During our most difficult days of intense chemotherapy, people would say to us, “Your faith is incredible,” or “I could never look at it that way.” But as you said, our faith is not in doctors or medicine or in “faith”, but in God and His word. Faith and hope in him is the natural outcome when you understand His sovereignty and goodness. Besides, as Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, you have the words of life. To whom should we go?” (John 6:68) Truly, where else could we go?

You’re right to avoid the question “Why?”. The Lord impressed on us early on that the question is “What?”. What, Lord, are you trying to accomplish through this? What, Lord, do you want us to do? What, Lord, do you want us to say to others who are suffering? What, Lord, do you want us to say to testify to your grace and goodness?

While our family currently lives with the good news of a positive prognosis, we’ve been forced to contemplate the possibility that James may precede us to be with the Father. Your message says everything that we would want to be said, should that day ever come.

Thank you again, Britt, for the blessing that your message and witness has been for us and for the glory you are bringing to our Father. Your family has a race in front of you, and a cloud of witnesses is cheering you on — and the Father is saying, “Well done. Keep going. Well done. Keep going.”

We will be praying for your precious daughter and for the rest of your family. May God pour out a tsunami of grace, mercy and peace upon each of you. May He grant full and complete healing for Daisy, and may He make you abundantly aware of His presence with you during this difficult, troublesome, heartbreaking time.

With love and prayers,

Thomas, Anna, Daniel, James and Peter

Katie here again. Jeremy just started playing "Beautiful Lord" once again. I think God has a sense of humor: "When the storm is raging all around me, You are the peace that calms my troubled sea."