At the end of our strength

One of my many theories about life is that everyone will experience at least one time when they reach the end of their own strength. Circumstances--loss, abuse, abject poverty, heartbreak, disease, disability, etc.--will bring you there and your own mistakes and proclivities may speed the journey. The question is, where do you turn when you reach that place? 

In spite of countless beautiful moments with nonprofits, friends, and the Lord, 2011 has been an uncharacteristically difficult year, and I have appreciated the patience of friends and family. 

Sometimes I still wonder, "What am I doing wrong?" Yet, I have come to see that had God quickly answered prayers to "fix" me, I would never have experienced the unexpected gift of reaching the end of my own strength. Pain rammed me unrelentingly into my own limitations, and I truly realized how everything good in me originates from the Lord. This has been an exceptional antidote for my "perfectionist tendencies" and has given me greater grace for myself and others.

At the beginning of this season, I learned to trust that God is good even when He does not seem to be "fixing" our problems. It's one thing to profess this and another to believe it when you are in a difficult situation. This was incredibly important for me to experience in light of my ever-present goal of career work to help the forgotten suffering worldwide: refugees, slaves, survivors of natural disasters, wrongfully imprisoned, etc. Love and hope would be pitifully weak if they were limited to eradicating pain. Their persistence in the midst of pain is just as transforming as their healing power.

As always, thank you for taking the time to read about what is important to me. Your attention and care humbles me. 

But He said to me, 

“My grace is sufficient for you, 

for My power is made perfect in weakness.” 

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, 

so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 

2 Corinthians 12:9