Oops, I missed.

"Missing" is an interesting emotion, isn't it? There are so many types of missing. There is simply noticing a missing element. Or the gnawing ache of a permanent absence or loss. The wistful yearning for something or something that we acknowledge as a bonus rather than an integral part of our lives. I'm not intending to use poetic language but terms with which we can easily connect. I'm sure that there are many layers and types of missing. People probably write terribly depressing and insipid books on the subject. And of course I realize that the missings often blend together until we do not quite know how to describe them or solve them other than instant gratification, the presence of the missed. It is not a strange concept to want something that we do not have, but somehow the concept of missing seems more complex. Yes, the missed must have been ours in some capacity at one point in order to be later missed. Inherent, inherent. So perhaps it is the sense of loss that accompanies missing that makes it so poignant. I am uncertain as to how much rumination on this topic is beneficial.

I miss school and the Central Coast and London. I miss having structure and having various friends easily accessible. Generally I miss people who are no longer routinely in my life, but that aspect of missing has been decreasing since graduation. Perhaps the Lord wanted to break that off of me. In any case, my losses are relatively few and are generally due to the end of a season rather than to something or someones being taken from me. The beauty of loving the Lord is being at peace and content with where He has placed you and with whom. It is impossible for all of the missed to converge at once, nor would I be able to adequately appreciate all of them even if it were so. There is something to be said for capturing the moment while not holding on too tightly. Let go; let God. It's a theme of late, and I am happy to be able to extend it to this area of my life. It is a blessing how much more easily I am able to to end thought processes with that conviction. Amen.