I mentioned today in conversation that at this point school is just a waiting game. This quarter has been uncharacteristically dreary in terms of school, and my disgruntled attitude is only heightened by my impending graduation. As I expressed to my mother last week, I really do not want to leave SLO nor end my career as a student, but as long as it has to happen in the near future, I wish the near future was right now. I just want to get it over with.
However, today I decided that I need to actually change this attitude instead of merely acknowledging that it is inferior. God has a purpose for this time in my life, and it is wrong for me to go on autopilot for my last six weeks of school even to prevent sadness and discouragement. I should depend on the Lord for joy and encouragement, rather than mentally checking out. This is not say that I have achieved this change in attitude, but rather I acknowledge that, once again, I am wrong and I need the Lord's help. I cannot rely on myself; I cannot rely on people; I can only rely on the Lord and His goodness and faithfulness.
Amen.
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